Topic: If I was the president of china
+Anonymous A — 9 months ago #67,141
I’m not Chinese and I’m not a communist but if I was and I was the party chairman and president this is what I’d do to make china take over the world IVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT - as I write this in real time.
So basically, what I’d do if I was the dictator of china and I wanted to take over the planet, is I’d hire Japan in a secret meeting to come and attack china as a pretext for my incursion into Russia which really I’ll use as an excuse to Putin to say "oh no don’t worry bro we’re just trying to get to Japan faster by going through your country." Then we’re gonna fly a plane into the kremlin, I’m gonna send 10,000 troops to Tokyo on a container ship (to be sneaky) which will not be enough to take the whole country, but basically I’d storm the Japanese parliament with those 10,000 troops, and in the end everybody I sent in would die, but it would be shocking, and that would buy enough time to start a bombing campaign against Taiwan.
So basically, what I’d do if I was the dictator of china and I wanted to take over the planet, is I’d hire Japan in a secret meeting to come and attack china as a pretext for my incursion into Russia which really I’ll use as an excuse to Putin to say "oh no don’t worry bro we’re just trying to get to Japan faster by going through your country." Then we’re gonna fly a plane into the kremlin, I’m gonna send 10,000 troops to Tokyo on a container ship (to be sneaky) which will not be enough to take the whole country, but basically I’d storm the Japanese parliament with those 10,000 troops, and in the end everybody I sent in would die, but it would be shocking, and that would buy enough time to start a bombing campaign against Taiwan.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 9 months ago, 2 minutes later[T] [B] #667,440
And then while the planes are gonna start bombing Taiwan, I’m going to call Putin up and tell him there’s a national emergency going on in Russia, and some crazy Islamic dudes just flew an airplane into his house, so I’m sending like 10 million Chinese troops straight to Moscow right now to save him and he should let his military know right away to not fight us because we’re here to help.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 9 months ago, 1 minute later, 4 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #667,442
Then I’d nuke Afghanistan.
So basically right now:
Japan: all the politicians in their national government are dead and the Chinese military is landing on the beaches.
Taiwan: they’re just straight up getting carpet bombed.
Russia: willfully submitting to my military rule.
Afghanistan: vaporized.
India: just watching in the corner.
So basically right now:
Japan: all the politicians in their national government are dead and the Chinese military is landing on the beaches.
Taiwan: they’re just straight up getting carpet bombed.
Russia: willfully submitting to my military rule.
Afghanistan: vaporized.
India: just watching in the corner.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 9 months ago, 2 minutes later, 6 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #667,443
So basically what I’d do, is I’d call up the Indian president on a zoom call. I’d be like, oh wait wrong number, and I’d hang up. Then I’d call the Indian prime minister, and I’d be like, "Hey Modi, I’ll bomb the shit out of Pakistan right now if you agree to send me 20 million Indians to fight in my war against Mexico." Then I’d put those 20 million Indians on boats, send em to Mexico, and I’d overthrow the Mexican government, and I’d start staging Indian troops on the southern border of the United States on the Mexican side.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 9 months ago, 1 minute later, 8 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #667,444
And to make it more confusing, I’m not sending any boats across the pacific. I’m gonna invade America by crossing the Atlantic to take them by surprise. I’m going across the Indian Ocean, around the bottom of Africa so that Europe can’t shoot my ships with their missiles, and then I’m going back up north from the south Atlantic.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 9 months ago, 1 minute later, 9 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #667,445
And then at that point I’m just gonna wing it and let the generals figure it out and go take a nap.
+Anonymous B — 9 months ago, 1 minute later, 11 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #667,447
You must be unaware of Sushi and the REAL Ramen soup.Not that stuff that comes in plastic. The real Ramen in restaurant can cost $13 to $16 and more depending on the extras.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 9 months ago, 1 minute later, 12 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #667,448
·Anonymous A (OP) — 9 months ago, 15 seconds later, 13 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #667,449
Although, the Japanese did also invent the fake stuff.