TinyChan

As a man, or even as a woman, I have a masculine/feminine rage inside me at my enemies. Plus a few of my friends. Or a few freminies. But I don’t ever want to fight in a war. Why? Because I'm not a coward, that's why. Why? You see, or maybe you don't see: I am a coward and I’m not patriotic. But I'm patriotic. I was walking funny for 2 weeks. But okay, that’s not the entire reason. The reason is I want to imagine lying in bed thinking about not going to the supermarket. Let’s imagine, or even visualise that maybe I wasn’t a pawn in somebody else’s game, cybergame maybe, simulation theory is unproven so far, so dying as cannon fodder is kind of exciting! Let’s say I was the shot caller. Or the shot puller. Spinning around before letting go of that heavy weight. Let’s say I was the dictator, or maybe a dick taster of America, well technically the country between Canada and Mexico, like Vladimir Putin, also known as Stinky McStinkypants for example, absolute control of the entire country, you know? The total Red Square experience, and economy and military, plus social activities like curling on a frozen lake in winter. Nobody is questioning me, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, a rag tag bunch of ne'er-do-wells just called me the n word, which doesn't bother me. Maggie was my favourite, don't buy that Wicked Witch single. And I can tell she wants to throw hands into the air when she drops and gives me twenty. Would I send the military to go kill British people? No. Yes. Maybe.

You see, or maybe you don't see the problem with war is, or maybe the problem with war isn't just the fact that war is bad, but it's also good. War is just winning an argument by other means, or losing, hey Maggie? And the thing about winning an argument, or losing an argument, is really what you want, I want, you want, we all want is you don’t want victory, you want snicktory, you want your friends and enemies to understand who you are, who you aren't and how much you stand, sit, kneel against them and how much you hate them, love them, and you want them to fucking, sucking and 69 feel it. The problem and solution with killing people is, once people are dead, they're extra dead because they don’t feel anything. And in a war, if you shoot your gun at a soldier, they don’t know they lost the war in the end. Or maybe they do. They never lived to see their nation get defeated. Or deflated. No I wouldn’t start a war. Right Maggie?

In war the objective is killing the enemy. With kindness. Or super kindness. I wouldn’t try to kill the enemy. I'd kill them with kindness. I would try to capture the enemy alive, preferably naked and then keep them alive while I torture them. Right Maggie?

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