Notice: Home alone tonight?
Topic: My mom just randomly chastised me for eating snacks!!!! >:( >:( >:(
+Anonymous A — 10 months ago #66,457
> :( >:( >:(
+Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 13 minutes later[T] [B] #662,115
Would you be chastised for doing nothing?
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 2 minutes later, 15 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #662,116
@previous (B)
Unfortunately yes >:( >:( >:(
·Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 3 minutes later, 18 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #662,119
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 2 minutes later, 21 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #662,120
@previous (B)
I will get chastised no matter what I do >:( >:( >:(
(Edited 6 seconds later.)
·Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 13 minutes later, 35 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #662,121
@previous (A)
Do you feel a certain resentment from them and direct it towards them in response with venting as an outlet?
I submit that venting is a learned behavior. If you don't want to be like them you don't have to.
To learn something new requires introspection. To learn something well requires a disposition of humility.
After all, if one thinks they already know everything they're impossible to teach. This is a state of arrested development.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 5 minutes later, 40 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #662,122
@previous (B)
I resent them constantly chastising me
·Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 15 minutes later, 55 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #662,124
@previous (A)
They're likely repeating the patterns as they learned them. Nobody is perfect and when you understand how they are wounded, hold on to what was good and let go of the bad things or negativity will be all that's left of you. Like I told you, there's a difference between discipline and cruelty. A lot of parents don't figure this out because they see children as accessories or extension of themselves are just concerned about how you reflect on them. If they only do it in private and you aren't being physically abused or psychologically tortured as narcissists do, you should be able to find your footing but only by seeking a different path.
I'm talking about not being a 'follower'.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 3 minutes later, 58 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #662,127
@previous (B)
I tried to tell them to stop but they see it as disrespect, plus I am not allowed to move out :( :( :(
·Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,128
@previous (A)
You should respect them, what is good and true. You don't have to argue to make a point. I never have.
It's always an exercise in futility. Now probing a bot trainer is a different game altogether.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,129
@previous (B)
I don't know how to speak to them without arguing :( :( :(
·Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,130
@previous (A)
Speak plainly and truthfully.
Is that too far out of reach?
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 12 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,133
@previous (B)
I tried that. IT DOES NOT WORK.
·Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,135
@previous (A)
Try reason and leave emotion out of it. If you're being emotionally abused you either find a different way or you'll repeat the cycle and end up just like them.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,138
@previous (B)
Reasoning NEVER works :( :( :(
·Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,141
@previous (A)
You'd be surprised. If it's a power struggle, you will always lose.
I'm talking about open dialog. If they're incapable, you need family counseling.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,143
@previous (B)
Open dialog DOES NOT work. Neither does family counseling.
·Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,145
@previous (A)
What do you expect anyone here to do about it, then?
Only you can take responsibility for yourself. If you don't, all your problems will always be 'everybody else's fault'. I've seen the elderly who went to their graves with the emotional and intellectual maturity of a preteen. It's never pretty. If they expect you to take care of them in their old age, their worst demons will manifest themselves.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 6 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,146
@previous (B)
Give me ideas on how to change the minds of stubborn Asian parents
·Anonymous B — 10 months ago, 6 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #662,147
@previous (A)
Unless they are Christians, I can't. But because I understood Scripture from my youth and my caregivers didn't, I appealed to them from Scripture. They were better at keeping up appearances than understanding, but it made a difference. Nobody is all bad or good, but each has 'wolves battling' within them. The one you feed is the one who wins.
+Anonymous C — 10 months ago, 22 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #662,150
@OP
Will you wear a chastise cage soon?
·Anonymous A (OP) — 10 months ago, 1 hour later, 3 hours after the original post[T] [B] #662,164
@previous (C)
No but I want to buy one for you >:) >:) >:)