Topic: Shit! Help me! This all went wrong!!
+Dark !e/dFkWa5V. — 1.1 year ago #66,258
I went to the blonde cheerleader's house party. Everyone else there was a popular football player or cheerleader from high school. She assured me that she would say I was her cousin and she had to invite me. I was ready to hang out with popular people for the first time ever, and to maybe get to third base with the blonde girl. I got to her parents' mansion (they were out of town). I walked in, and the main room was empty. I heard some people in the back, so I walked towards the solarium. As I got closer, it sounded like they were chanting.
I walked into the solarium, and there they were, all the jocks and cheerleaders, in black robes. A lineman grabbed me and said, "You fool!" They manhandled me and tied me to an altar. It turns out that the jocks and cheerleaders are actually part of a Satanic cult that practices human sacrifice, and I was the offering! They tied me to the altar and pulled out a ceremonial, bejeweled knife. The cheerleader I've been hanging out with took it and held it over my heart.
"Sorry," she said, "but you were an easy target to be the offering. Plus, Satan is only happy with a virgin."
Something in me acted instinctively. I am a virgin, but I lied. "I'm not virgin," I said. "Remember that Goth girl I hung out with? Well, I fucked her at the morgue!"
She paused and acted confused. While they debated what to do, I managed to loosen the ropes on my wrists. She returned and said, "Well, we have to kill you anyway now that you've seen this. Sorry again. It's just the way it works with Satan."
I pulled my hands up and grabbed the knife from her and stabber her arm. She shrieked and fell back. I used the knife to cut through the ropes binding my ankles and jumped up from the altar. I waved the knife in front of me at the jocks and told them I would fucking kill them. I ran out of the house and escaped!
They followed me and I sprinted across town towards the cemetery I know well while they chased me and threatened me. Right now, I'm hiding in a vault, but I can hear them outside calling me and mocking me, saying they're going to rip my heart out and eat it! Shit! This all went wrong! I'll update you soon!
I walked into the solarium, and there they were, all the jocks and cheerleaders, in black robes. A lineman grabbed me and said, "You fool!" They manhandled me and tied me to an altar. It turns out that the jocks and cheerleaders are actually part of a Satanic cult that practices human sacrifice, and I was the offering! They tied me to the altar and pulled out a ceremonial, bejeweled knife. The cheerleader I've been hanging out with took it and held it over my heart.
"Sorry," she said, "but you were an easy target to be the offering. Plus, Satan is only happy with a virgin."
Something in me acted instinctively. I am a virgin, but I lied. "I'm not virgin," I said. "Remember that Goth girl I hung out with? Well, I fucked her at the morgue!"
She paused and acted confused. While they debated what to do, I managed to loosen the ropes on my wrists. She returned and said, "Well, we have to kill you anyway now that you've seen this. Sorry again. It's just the way it works with Satan."
I pulled my hands up and grabbed the knife from her and stabber her arm. She shrieked and fell back. I used the knife to cut through the ropes binding my ankles and jumped up from the altar. I waved the knife in front of me at the jocks and told them I would fucking kill them. I ran out of the house and escaped!
They followed me and I sprinted across town towards the cemetery I know well while they chased me and threatened me. Right now, I'm hiding in a vault, but I can hear them outside calling me and mocking me, saying they're going to rip my heart out and eat it! Shit! This all went wrong! I'll update you soon!
+Anonymous B — 1.1 year ago, 7 hours later[T] [B] #660,933
+Anonymous C — 1.1 year ago, 12 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[T] [B] #660,936
+Anonymous D — 1.1 year ago, 3 hours later, 10 hours after the original post[T] [B] #660,942
+Anonymous E — 1.1 year ago, 28 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[T] [B] #660,944
@OP
You need to lose your virginity to the Mortuary chick. Only then will you know how you stack up against a corpse.
You need to lose your virginity to the Mortuary chick. Only then will you know how you stack up against a corpse.
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