Topic: Etiquette discussion

+Anonymous A — 11 months ago #65,963

"Pass food to the right" is dumb if the person on your left wants the food

(Edited 2 days later by a moderator.)

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 3 minutes later[T] [B] #659,688

"Put away your phone when you’re with others" is ABSOLUTELY R****ED if you are underrated

I am underrated in my family and during gatherings no one really talks to me except in brief moments. What am I supposed to do when everyone is talking to each other while ignoring me??? Stare at them the whole time while suffering in silence???? NO. F**K THAT!!!!!!!!! >:( >:( >:(

(Edited 1 minute later.)

+Anonymous B — 11 months ago, 13 minutes later, 17 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #659,332

im in the position of "get the fuck up and get your own plate" but yea OP you right on this one.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 6 minutes later, 23 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #659,691

"Bring a gift for the host" is why people are so materialistic these days

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 3 minutes later, 27 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #659,692

handwritten thank-you cards shouldn't be necessary

A text, phone call, or even saying it in person should be more than enough.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 3 minutes later, 30 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #659,693

"keep to the right on sidewalks, stairs and trails" is dumb if you're alone

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 19 minutes later, 49 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #659,695

if a neighbor wants a dish that’s out of reach and you’re in the passing zone

"resist the urge to take some for yourself before handing it over" is dumb

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 51 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #659,696

"salt and pepper should always be passed as a set" is dumb

There's no point to give someone something that won't be used.

+Anonymous C — 11 months ago, 3 hours later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,333

@previous (A)
You are a piece of shit!!

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 35 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,697

Who tf uses a knife to spread ketchup on a burger??????

https://etiquetteschoolofohio.com/2009/07/02/spreading-condiments-on-your-food/

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 12 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,698

"You are obligated to converse with the people on each side of you at a formal dinner."

"It would be rude to sit next to someone and not speak with them."

My relatives talk to others all the time during family gatherings and mostly ignore me. Are they rude????

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 3 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,699

I'm Chinese American and burping and slurping is rude imo

https://etiquetteschoolofohio.com/2008/08/21/chinese-dining-etiquette-slurping-and-burping/

(Edited 18 seconds later.)

+Anonymous D — 11 months ago, 6 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,335

@previous (A)
You would not enjoy dining in Asia lol

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 36 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,700

This is so unnecessary!!!!!!!

https://etiquetteschoolofohio.com/2008/07/30/when-the-main-course-arrives-too-early/

+Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,337

@659,691 (A)
because the host did not have to invite you. They didn't invite you because they wanted a gift from you. Bring a host a gift when not asked speaks volumes of your character regardless of whether people acknowledge it or not.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 4 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,338

@659,698 (A)
no they're not rude but also it would serve you to speak with them every now and then because most people will judge you simply on you are with family and friends. If you talk to the people next to you at a formal dinner, people will then feel uncomfortable around and might even go as far as to ask you to leave as you're messing up the vibe. Maybe it's stupid but in the long term its like having a facebook profile and have a few friends even you dont intend on yapping with them or logging. Just having it is enough to not warrant social red flags. Especially if you want to meet women.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 2 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,340

@659,697 (A)
it makes sense because you can get an even distribution of ketchup on the surface of the burger without wasting it. similar to how you slap peanut butter and jelly and work make sure its evenly spread.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,341

@659,696 (A)
salt and pepper being passed as a set makes sense in that it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,342

@659,699 (A)
In general regardless of where you're from: burping and slurping is universally rude and is considered bad manners.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 55 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,343

@659,693 (A)
You never know if someone or something is gonna come tumbling/falling/sliding towards you. better safe than sorry.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 24 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,344

@659,691 (A)
@659,337 (E)

"Bring a host a gift when not asked speaks volumes of your character regardless of whether people acknowledge it or not.

What do you mean by that?

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 39 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,345

@659,693 (A)
@659,343 (E)

What if you live alone at home and you are using the stairs? That should be an exception

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 2 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,701

Why???

In a very formal situation one should wait for the host or the guest of honor to start eating before even touching one’s cutlery.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 52 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,346

@659,691 (A)
@659,344 (A)
It means you're polite, respectful and considerate. The host would appreciated it because even though they never asked or demanded anything in return, the fact that you went out of your way with them in mind to get a gift makes you a highly respectable gentlemen/lady.
You're also more than likely to be remembered positively and could be for future consideration such as bigger and better parties or job promotions/offers, etc.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 2 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,347

@659,693 (A)
Sure it wouldn't be issue. It's more creating the habit so then the situation arises you're aware to move to one side of the stairs in public places. It's like traffic. you want traffic free flowing at all times(ideally).

+Anonymous F — 11 months ago, 1 second later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,348

@659,693 (A)
How do you know you're alone? So stop being an asshole and give god damn way you prick

·Anonymous F — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,349

@659,692 (A)
Only acceptable "thank you" is cash. $5-$10 enough for normal people.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 9 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,702

If etiquette says to "DO NOT blow on the soup/hot food"

Why do Asians do it?????

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,350

@659,693 (A)
@659,348 (F)

if you are at home and you are by yourself

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 10 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,351

@659,701 (A)
because it's considered rude.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 15 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,352

@659,692 (A)
@659,349 (F)

Not. That's materialistic as well.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,353

@659,691 (A)
@659,346 (E)

How is it polite to give gifts to hosts every single time you attend a gathering???

So if you host gatherings several times a year you are expected to receive 200+ gifts per years depending on the # of guests attending???? That's pretty excessive imo.

(Edited 50 seconds later.)

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 29 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,354

@659,702 (A)
depends on the soup and how hard you blow. I wouldn't blow hard on a hot tomato soup because it can potentially stain carpets/tapestry/clothes/etc. maybe Asians do it because their soup rarely contains sauces seeing as it's all broth based.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,355

@659,702 (A)
@previous (E)

Asians blow on ALL hot food. Even if there's sauce in it.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 45 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,356

@659,701 (A)
@659,351 (E)

How is touching utensils rude???? I wasn't even about to pick it up yet.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 54 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,357

@659,692 (A)
its not necessary to write a thank you card but its nice gesture same as the ones you listed above. Each one has their merits. However I'd wager the best ones are saying thank you in person, writing a thank you card or the phone call. text just seems just impersonal but I can understand some folks feel more comfortable with text.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 48 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,703

Why is it etiquette to leave utensils at certain positions when eating????

People should know that if food is still in the dish, you're still eating, and if it's empty, it means you're finished. (with exceptions of course)

(Edited 33 seconds later.)

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 53 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,358

@659,701 (A)
@659,356 (A)
You're eating before the guest of honor gets there is like saying "Fuck you you're not that important for me to wait on you. Im gonna eat anyway."

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 46 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,359

@659,701 (A)
@previous (E)

What if the host's food is like 10-20 mins late and they tell you to start eating???? You're still gonna let your food go cold?

(Edited 44 seconds later.)

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 29 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,360

@659,701 (A)
@659,358 (E)

How is waiting making them more important???? I don't get it.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 34 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,362

@659,702 (A)
@659,355 (A)
but it's their culture. Plus how do they blow their food and how hard they blow is an important factor. Imagine you're eating with something and they're blowing hot soup all over you while you're trying to eat your food or talk to them. Pretty sure you wouldnt like it.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 55 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,363

@659,703 (A)
This is correct. If anything they should also ask first if you're done with your plate.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 31 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,364

@659,701 (A)
@659,360 (A)
they're the guest of honor.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 10 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,365

@659,703 (A)
@659,363 (E)

Exactly!!!!!

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,366

@659,702 (A)
@659,362 (E)

When my family (Asian) blows on food (either if it's their own food or a little kid's food) they are VERY considerate of others and do it as gently as possible in order to not accidentally get food/saliva everywhere.

(Edited 1 minute later.)

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 20 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,367

@659,701 (A)
@659,359 (A)
assuming if they're late and they're aware of the dinner event then people can eat. but usually you wait til they get there. Kind of like we're not supposed to cut the first piece of cake at someone else's wedding.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,704

Why do people use multiple utensil sets with multiple courses????

There should be one set of utensils for all courses imo. No wonder there are a lot of dishes to be cleaned. Eliminating the excess utensils would make the dishwashing a whole lot easier.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 17 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,368

@659,702 (A)
@659,366 (A)
there you go. other people do not operate that way. hence the etiquette existing.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,369

@659,704 (A)
I agree. it's a silly custom but I can understand why they have different utensils for different types of food. I dont want to eat steak with a spoon. That's..just madness.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 22 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,370

@659,702 (A)
@659,368 (E)

So what my family does is rude?????

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,371

@659,692 (A)
@659,357 (E)

I usually prefer saying thank you either in person or by texting.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 24 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,372

@659,691 (A)
@659,353 (A)
Well that's just it you dont have to do it every single time. That in itself is nonsense. the trick is deciding which ones are worth the effort of bringing the gift. we dont gel with everyone in the world. some we like more than others due bias/favoritism. Hence it's at your discretion who is worth your gifts just like its up to the host to invite you or not. if the feelings are mutual you wont have a problem.

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,373

@659,702 (A)
@659,370 (A)
no not rude. the etiquette in this scenario wouldn't apply to you or your family because in truth(to some extent) Asians are generally well-mannered and not rude.
If it dont apply let it fly my good man. you're Asian. you're in a good place.

(Edited 16 seconds later.)

·Anonymous E — 11 months ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,376

@659,692 (A)
@659,371 (A)
Nothing wrong with that. I have done similar as well.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 3 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,378

@659,691 (A)
@659,346 (E)

I attended a gathering across the country and I forgot to bring a hostess gift for my aunt (she was hosting). I guess I f**ked up. ( There was no room in luggage for a hostess gift so that should be an exception)

Whenever I attend gatherings in my hometown I bring wine.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 9 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,705

"food items are always passed in a counterclockwise direction or to your right" is dumb imo

What if the person on the other side wants the food?????

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,706

The etiquette rule "do not allow the other person to lean over and mouth feed you"

should not apply to babies, toddlers, and kids under age 5.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 8 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,707

Why is taking leftovers home during business meals considered rude?????

What if you couldn't finish your food??? Food shouldn't be wasted.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 5 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,709

According to Etiquette School of Ohio

"If you are using a fork and knife to eat your entree, cut the french fries into smaller pieces and eat them with your fork"

Why??? I thought only cutting up french fries into pieces only apply to toddlers.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 11 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,708

"the television should be turned off when entertaining guests" is dumb

What if at the gathering everyone is talking to each other and ignoring you???? How else would you entertain yourself????

·Anonymous F — 11 months ago, 40 seconds later, 7 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,379

@previous (A)
Television should be off in general. Nothing to see there except jew, mexican, black.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 17 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,380

@659,708 (A)
@previous (F)

Just watch family friendly content, cartoons, or play music on YouTube

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 3 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,710

Why??? You need permission to change the channel on YOUR show when YOU'RE watching it???????

An etiquette site says that "If you stop to watch a channel while surfing, ask before before you begin surfing again"

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 15 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,711

If you are invited to a graduation ceremony or party you should bring or send a gift to the graduate

No one got me anything for my graduations, so....

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 25 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,712

Desserts should be optional at dinner parties, not a requirement

If a guest or 1 member is either diabetic or health conscious and needs to limit their sugar intake and dessert is part of the menu, they should be able to politely decline (which IS etiquette) and not required to try a bite (which also counts as etiquette)

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 13 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,713

"Guests should eat small portions of every course" as etiquette is wrong

If a guest is diabetic or pre-diabetic then they should be able to politely decline dessert. If a guest is vegetarian or vegan they should be able to decline all proteins. If a guest has celiac then they should be able to politely decline all carbs and grains.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 40 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,714

How will an extra dish conflict with the planned menu/create more stress?????

Etiquette says that it’s rude to bring a dish to a dinner party unasked, and especially so if one has been specifically told not to bring anything, because the host has the meal all planned out.

+Anonymous G — 11 months ago, 3 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,385

@659,708 (A)
Asian mom vs her adult son

·Anonymous G — 11 months ago, 21 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,386

don't break the flow

+396474 — 11 months ago, 8 hours later, 17 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,405

@659,688 (A)
Sorry to say that but your family have no respect for you. Tell them that.

+Anonymous I — 11 months ago, 5 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,406

@659,688 (A)
@previous (396474)

They do respect me. I just don’t feel like I belong sometimes (I’m autistic and not in their age groups)

·Anonymous I — 11 months ago, 4 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,412

@659,696 (A)
@659,333 (C)

🤬🤬🤬🖕🖕🖕

·396474 — 11 months ago, 9 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,415

@659,688 (A)
@659,406 (I)
> They do respect me. I just don’t feel like I belong sometimes (I’m autistic and not in their age groups)

Ok so I hope you deal with it someway.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 6 hours later, 23 hours after the original post[T] [B] #659,457

@659,688 (A)
@previous (396474)

I do by using my phone to distract me from my loneliness

+Anonymous J — 11 months ago, 14 hours later, 1 day after the original post[T] [B] #659,492

@659,688 (A)
Im gay big time

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 9 hours later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,715

Why does etiquette insist that the ONLY way to properly thank someone is with a handwritten note?

There's NOTHING wrong with saying thank you in person, via text, or over the phone

(Edited 27 seconds later.)

+ducky !MwWb.dJjRc — 11 months ago, 1 hour later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,540

@previous (A)
modern times so yeah

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 1 hour later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,716

The etiquette rule "Never take the last piece of food" is why food waste is a thing

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 1 minute later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,718

Why are people not allowed to take food when people are passing it around and it reaches them????

That's stupid if you wanted the food too

·Anonymous A (OP) — 11 months ago, 2 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,717

The etiquette rule "Never request for a takeout container during business meals"

is why food waste is a thing

+^_^ !UmfqWHTcO. — 11 months ago, 21 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,557

@659,716 (A)
Rules for thee and not for me. I take first and last ^_^!

·^_^ !UmfqWHTcO. — 11 months ago, 55 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,563

@659,717 (A)
I don't think I've ever had leftover food; does not compute ^_^!

·^_^ !UmfqWHTcO. — 11 months ago, 51 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,587

@659,718 (A)
Give it the reach around and they still arrive first ^_^!

·Anonymous D — 11 months ago, 2 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,588

@659,718 (A)
@previous (^_^ !UmfqWHTcO.)
*Rusty Trombone

·^_^ !UmfqWHTcO. — 11 months ago, 3 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,590

@659,718 (A)
@previous (D)
I tried it on the limp dick waiter and it was more of a sad trombone ^_^!

+FuckAlms !vX8K53rFBI — 11 months ago, 12 hours later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,694

@659,693 (A)
Catherine strictly enforces left-side walking in New Bethlehem

+Anonymous N — 11 months ago, 2 hours later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,746

@659,716 (A)
No one says this, your parents are either selfish or poor.

+Anonymous O — 11 months ago, 27 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,749

@previous (N)
It's the stupidest game of chicken in our house too. Whovever eats the last one has to listen to the lamentation of the cookie situation.

·Anonymous N — 11 months ago, 12 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,753

@previous (O)
Buy a batch of cookies and force-feed them. :3

·Anonymous O — 11 months ago, 12 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,755

@previous (N)
Half the time I think someone is just picking boxes out of the recycling just to have something to whine about. No actual cookies need to be eaten.

·Anonymous I — 11 months ago, 10 hours later, 3 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,865

Why does etiquette force everyone to make conversation with everyone during gatherings????

What if you’re underrated and people barely talk to you, like me??? Very few people make effort to talk to me during gatherings. I think it’s because I’m not in anyone’s age range plus I’m also autistic so I don’t fit in with everyone else.

·Anonymous G — 11 months ago, 6 hours later, 3 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,847

We Don't Talk Anymore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN_C4bDJOMo

+Anonymous P — 11 months ago, 7 hours later, 3 days after the original post[T] [B] #659,890

Real etiquette is about consideration for others since you're not the center of the universe and must learn to share. So if condiments are being passed and you don't need them, pass it to the next diner. And for the sake of the common good, please use proper English.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znS3gXjGCiU

TinyChan