TinyChan

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One night the cops
are at my house
They did a welfare check
They took one look at me
The noose around my neck
A shrug and a sigh
They understood
I wanted to die
And agreed I should
Walking back to their car
Shouting exasperatedly
“ we will be back in ten”
before I can say goodbye
the door shakes again
banging with an urgency
Sir, sir, answer the door
This is an emergency

Sir, sir, we said we wouldn’t be back yet.
But we have more business to attend,
We got to do a second welfare check,
Do you live with your girlfriend?

The love of my life appears,
A noose around her neck too,
It’s made from one piece of rope
We didn’t even get to cut it in two,
Now the police look at her and say,
Madam, now you, you should probably live.
You’re a beautiful and amazing woman,
And look at this ogre you are with.
They put her hands on her,
She says can’t I stay,
The police cite the mental health act,
they took her away
The cops sectioned my suicidal girlfriend,
they left me to die,
They took the noose off her neck,
They put it around mine

They diagnosed her with depression,
A personality disorder or three,
They cited her wanting to die,
They cited her relationship with me,
It’s a clear sign of insanity,
Was it a unhealthy relationship,
Of which she should be free

Her mother visited the house,
Picking up a thing or two,
I said that noose is hers,
Her mother said no that’s for you.
The hospital won’t give my girlfriend back,
We spent so many evenings on the edge,
We sat with nooses around our necks,
guns to each others head.

I heard a new phrase the other day,
From a happy middle class woman in a sun dress with a smile and the will to live dripping from her aura,
I heard her say,
Love language, love language.
That was our love language.
We would sit waiting to die,
Asking do we bring it closer,
And make tonight our last goodbye?

They gave my girlfriend pills,
They gave her therapy,
She said she still wants to die,
Just not die with me.
She got a new boyfriend,
He’s in a band,
She still sits with him,
Waiting to die,
But he uses heavy drugs,
And their deaths may be ruled misadventure,
And they might accidentally overdose,
And I guess that’s acceptable,
And yeah I guess she’s cured now
Because she is no longer with me
And instead injecting heroin with Kurtis
And that’s ok
It’s all ok
He’s got that good shit
And it’s all ok

Sir, sir, answer the door
This is an emergency

The cops wouldn’t let me visit
They wouldn’t section me
I asked to be made someone other than me
And now it’s all ok
It’s all ok now
It’s all ok
The cops sectioned my suicidal girlfriend
I hate Kurtis
I hate Kurtis
It’s all ok

(Edited 1 minute later.)

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• 153 visits

new song - the portcullis
all women mentioned are fictional and unrelated to real persons


There is a lie I told
It hangs over me
A portcullis
At the gate
If it fell
I would be free
But only
By crushing my skull.
Taking my life away,
For this lie I told
That would ruin
My beautiful woman’s day
Her smile will be
Taken away
Again and again

If I had not told it
Things may have been the same
But it was told
And this future came.
I can’t complain,
This is okay,
We are still friends,
You still say my name,
With an admiration,
It can stay the same,
But it wasn’t worth it,
The future this lie birthed.
I lost love,
And I lost a clear conscience,
When I sit by your side,
Not a guilt-free moment since.

My queen,
I sit at the gates of your castle,
Singing my truth between the gaps,
Of the portcullis above me,
I'm lying here waiting for your order,
Waiting for the weight to drop,
I'm lying here because it's what I am,
A liar who cannot stop digging,
And my queen, please bury me deep,
So you cannot hear me singing,
The lies that caused you pain.

We could have been together,
We still could,
You are so beautiful,
You probably would,
You would,
Still see the good in me,
You’d take my hand,
Because you still see,
A good man.
A man in your memory,
A memory I corrupted,
From a poison,
My lie inducted.
With every kiss,
The portcullis,
Would weigh a little more,
The lies I told,
Will break your heart,
Of this I’m very sure.

Why was I not honest,
Was it from shame,
No, it was a lie to hide
The sadness that the truth
Would bring your eyes,
It was many lies that built up,
I built them for reasons I don’t know,
Probably silly ones,
Flippant ones,
Horny ones,
Some were righteous,
Some were good,
But I can't pretend,
It was more than a couple,
Drowned by the flood,
Of crude and selfish,
Lies
But damn it wasn’t worth it,
Now I sit on the stack,
Looking back,
And thinking,
If I’d told the truth,
I might be in your arms,
With these lies hanging over me,
There’s only a noose,
One I made,
And it’s the future,
That came.

My queen,
I sit at the gates of your castle,
Singing my truth between the gaps,
Of the portcullis above me,
I'm lying here waiting for your order,
Waiting for the weight to drop,
I'm lying here because it's what I am,
A liar who cannot stop digging,
And my queen, please bury me deep,
So you cannot hear me singing,
The lies that caused you pain.

Love cannot survive,
Suffocated by lies,
And neither can I.
I'm begging and it’s narcissism,
It’s all narcissism with me,
From my poems you've seen,
When it helps me, I'm lying freely,
But for these, I dabble in morality,
The cards have been played,
I told lies, and I stayed,
This sublimation is narcissism,
What else can it be,
Let us get back to dancing,
At least one thing here is true,
My queen, my queen - your beauty
It's worth dying for, it’s worth lying for
And baby, I would do both for you.
Let me do both for you.

• PM

I wrote a haiku

A red dot laser,
The gun in-between my teeth,
It lights up my nose

(Edited 6 minutes later.)

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fresh remix of one i posted the other day
i have been somewhat addicted to love, the cosmos, and death
the core 3


the cosmos is immense .
the stars are infinite.
awe and imagination
Could not even fill it.
Yet, yet,
A single woman
Makes me forget
Existence
Exists
Separate from her

The horizon stops
At her eyes
There used to be gods
In the skies
I don’t look their way,
No more.
Divine creation
Outshined the creator
Space and time
Is bending
The world is ending
Because a beautiful woman,
Smiled at me
And I forgot
To breathe

there’s a light in my eyes
The end is here
my life is flashing before me,
its just illuminating her,
its a movie of my life,
she is the main character,
I don’t care
She’s still near
The grim reaper
Poking me in the ribs
And I feel no fear
The world already ended
I saw her
I saw her
And she looked through me
She was all I could see
And she annihilated me
with a moment of disregard,
There’s nothing left
For a reaper to reap
No tears left
For an eye to weep

i made the first move,
on the first mover
she dragged me from a life,
that felt like death,
created ex nihilo,
i thought this was home,
she created the heavenly bodies,
she's got a heavenly body,
what was i thinking,
a mortal man,
with a mortal hand,
touching the fire of creation,
some say atoms are conscious,
admired by cosmic radiation,
that's her,
that's her

the cosmos is immense .
the stars are infinite.
awe and imagination
Could not even fill it.
Yet, yet,
A single woman
Makes me forget
Existence
Exists
Separate from her

I was created from nothing
And to nothing
I return
She brought me into existence
For a moment.
And for that moment again,
I yearn

Read sarte,
She concretised me,
My God the french philosophers,
He had a wonky eye,
And his girlfriend tricked young girls,
In to weird sex stuff apparently,
What a creep, oh god what a creep,
But he's right,
I wanted her to concretise me,
I wanted her to make me feel real,
And it's my responsibility,
I don't want to be real,
I don't want to be here at all

The world already ended
I saw her
I saw her
And she looked through me
She was all I could see
And she annihilated me
with a moment of disregard,
I want her to annihilate me,
I don't want to be real,
I don't want to be here at all

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one for the girls


oh he's a romantic
he's romantic
writing poems to a girl
that doesn't even exist
he's romancing the forms
he's romancing the dreams
package up a kiss,
blow one across the street,
theoretical recipients,
sometimes romantic, sometimes sweet
eternal reoccurrence,
it's not cool to be nostalgic,
no not anymore,
its all cringe and sad,
but what are memories for?
live in the moment!
he wants to live in one moment,
stretch it out to fill a life,
he's addicted to the wooing,
he could have had a wife,
what on earth is he doing?
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

A sadist using women,
To get his high,
writing poems for the buzz,
then saying goodbye.
hes a sick man,
hes in love with romance,
takes what he can,
dont get stuck in his trance,
you are flesh and blood,
romance an ineffable ghost,
not a tender flower bud,
you are just the host,
courtship calls to him,
It's a means to an end,
not even living in sin,
not even a girlfriend,
he wants to use you up,
and spit you out,
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

there's always one girl,
one girl who you would chase,
across the whole world,
seduction isn't meant to be a race,
but he's playing the game,
he wins and still keeps going,
she's standing at the finishing line,
what on earth is he doing?
he's on cloud nine,
he seen that moment in their eyes,
when love makes them shine,
that's not his prize,
there's something else divine,
have you ever tried to hold a kiss,
sure there's a taxonomic definition,
this guys got a hankering for qualia,
but romance isn't just all the kissing
he wants that feeling he felt before,
and he'll make you a catalyst,
he just wants more and more,
this man is a narcissist
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

i can not be clearer,
this man is a danger,
there's these edgy guys,
who talk about killing people,
waiting to see,
the life go out of their eyes,
this man won't kill you,
he'll keep your heart beating,
until he's got what he needs
then he doesn't care if you die,
he's a vampire, he wants to drink you dry,
the greater the romantic high,
the greater the fall.
he's showing you the mountains,
to push you off a waterfall.
you're along for the ride,
you won't leave dry-eyed,
i just hope you survive,
i just hope you survive
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

oh he's a romantic
he's romantic
writing poems to a girl
that used to exist
he's addicted to the ghost of romance
he's chasing the ghost of romance
don't give him a chance
please don't give him a chance.
oh he's a romantic
he's romantic
don't give him a chance

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@previous (B)
why yes, i am currently experience an altered state of consciousness

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a song for the fans
you can make AI just copy a song now - is it too far?
either way - 1 from the heart for the degenerates


im an old man
im middle aged
i can grow a full beard
my fingers got wrinkled texture
i'm not too old
i meet cute girls
i ask if i can text her
she says the name of an app
i don't know if its to chat
or if she wants me
to send her money
on one of these finn tech
startup company
applications
cute girls don't take bitcoin
but the dude in spain
who sent me bomb ass hash did
well some cute girls do
in ecuador
the finn tech dudes
really made their moves
phillipe
im smoking the shit you sent me
wrapped in a fake holiday magazine
phillipe
you take monero these days
i bet
waiting for bitcoin transactions
is still quicker
than trying to talk
to these cute ass girls!

what is a man
who studied with the gurus
who looked in the eyes
of a spiritual teacher
and said yes
yes im ready
he's seen it
the things they tell of
he's seen the promises made
promises to kings
promises to princes
they built temples for it
he stood in what they built
with what they wanted
but he's back
i thought he went
to a land far away
made a man anew
he's back
and he's a piece of shit
someone call the sharks
someone sink the raft
this guys clinging to
he's got some sails up
and he's coming home
he's coming home
and he's a piece of shit
he's just a piece of shit

walking back in to town
the alleyways are empty
who moved on the crackheads
it still smells of piss
down here
how long has it been
maybe its just the memory
of the world i missed
drunk in the streets
with girls i kissed
the homeless dude with
bloody bandages on his wrist
shouted at me
as i unbuckle my belt
boy
can i have that
if you don't need it
i said sure
ive got girls to kiss
powdered bliss

ive seen what there is
my soul isn't on board
i know it exists
im a hungry ghost
not even a trillion years
stacked end on end
in cycles across infinities
can scare him
to stop coming back
and this piece of shit
he's got the crack
he's got tiger blood
hello hello
he tried to be a good man
he's got the words
rattling around in his head
and he's a piece of shit

you ever listen to lana del rey
its like a gritty film
about a broken girl doing drugs
and sucking dicks
like that film where they
do drugs and suck dicks
i kissed a man in a nightclub
i think he was dared
i don't care
i kissed a man in a nightclub
when i was a younger man
and i miss it
i miss it all

im a piece of shit
unshakeably
im an old man
but i can still
make girls smile
i can still walk
a drunken mile
and ive got monero
it gets what cute girls crave
monero!
its got what cute girls crave
its monero
it was made for pieces of shit
like me!
sometimes its used for privacy!
sometimes by those finn tech dudes
trying everything for money!
they've been making moves!
its gets what cute girls crave
monero!
it got what cute girls crave
its monero
it was made for pieces of shit
like me!

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an*

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sneaky sad song looking at the archives

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proper song
for me taking my leave
later nerds
he comes
and he goes
he's a tsunami of a man
the waves are coming
you got to start running
the waves are ferocious
and it's coming
for us

its a force of nature
he's going to flood the land
overflowing
moving the sand
unfolding
dont make a stand
he's a force of nature
a demiurge made this world
nature can be horrific
he's an archon
and he's energy
he is destruction

he comes
and he goes
he's a tsunami of a man
the waves are coming
you got to start running
the waves are ferocious
and it's coming
for us

living a lifetime
of ups and downs
day to day
oh he's a coming to drown
the people around him
he won't stay
you're up to your neck
you dont need to say
you're sick of it
you're already sick of it

he comes
and he goes
he's a tsunami of a man
the waves are coming
you got to start running
the waves are ferocious
and it's coming
for us

the waters retreated
the silt and soil
leaving a bad taste
in the mouth
there's destruction
it's desolate
and you thought you could breathe
it isn't over
pray for him to leave
what's coming now
it descends and chokes
the waters drown
and then he suffocates

he comes
and he goes
he's a tsunami of a man
the waves are coming
you got to start running
the waves are ferocious
and it's coming
for us

he has the manners
to leave himself
he's a tsunami
of a man
and he knows it
although you might
and you might forget
how bad it is
and you might forget
how bad it is
its not just getting wet
the waves are coming
the tsunami is coming to town
you better start running
he's going to smash it all down

(Edited 42 seconds later.)

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¿ESTAS BIEN?

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try obtaining a gf older than an hour, matt

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Im in love with the grim reaper
her robes are in tatters
I can see her hips
I can see her legs
voyeuristic charm
the winds giving me a show
a skeletal upskirt
but im game
she's got a banging rack
a banging rack of ribs
A banging rack of tits
I'm in love with a reaper
i'm horny for a reaper
bones and boners
my heart is hers


play your flute
ill follow you
like a pied piper
a line across the land
following you
a trespasser in the land
of the living
living whats left of life
that I have to live
and then I can go
I give what I give
and then you'll kill me
please

I made a deal
these moments of love
paid for with death
death at my own hand
when the time comes
and my duty over
she says she'll be coming
baby I already am
I know im dying
we are all dying
but to see her there
as the time slips away
she lays in my bed
a comfort on a dark night

I got the deal
she gets a rotten soul
and a wasted life
I get beauty
death staring down at me
hope for an end
hope for this to end
ill make her bones creak
she'll make my knees weak
six feet under
against the wall
shes only a little skin
stretched over bones
i only need a little
to hold on

Im in love with the grim reaper
her robes are in tatters
I can see her hips
I can see her legs
voyeuristic charm
the winds giving me a show
a skeletal upskirt
but im game
she's got a banging rack
a banging rack of ribs
A banging rack of tits
I'm in love with a reaper
i'm horny for a reaper
bones and boners
my heart is hers

her bones are cold
shes somewhat old
a few million years
give or take
gods made her
im not scared
im in love
im not scared of love
she touches me
my body is on fire
how did her love
break evolutionary
psychology
make a mind
lust for death
it will end this bloodline
thats not a loss
thats not a cost
whats in my blood
would poison the world
she's death
im not the living
im a poison
and she's my girl

shes got a deal
i kill myself
i cop a feel
of those boney curves
i caress
a taste of
darkness
life up
that dress
and she thought
there'd be distress
but i would have
sold my soul
for a kiss
i have to kill myself
when my duty is done
so what
i was anyway


Im in love with the grim reaper
her robes are in tatters
I can see her hips
I can see her legs
voyeuristic charm
the winds giving me a show
a skeletal upskirt
but im game
she's got a banging rack
a banging rack of ribs
A banging rack of tits
I'm in love with a reaper
i'm horny for a reaper
bones and boners
my heart is hers

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