Topic: the police came to my house because i ordered suicide chemicals off the internet
+Anonymous A — 1.4 year ago #65,073
they came to my door and asked for id
they said hey we heard you ordered some suicide powder online
i said who said
he said they said
i said who is they
he said they said theyre the police
i said i thought you were the police
and the police was like yeah but these were like the big police
the international police
and i said well why are the international police
asking if ive ordered suicide powder
havent they got bigger fish to fry if theyre policing the whole world
and the police police said i dont know they just told us its a pretty big operation
and we need to check if you are dead
i said well im not dead
they said you got some powder that makes you dead
i said nah im not dead nor do i harness the powers of death
he said well ive got this list that says you do
i say to the policeman look i havent got the powers of death
i am not a greek god and i have never been one
he said but it says so on the list
i said you have got a list of the different gods of death?
he said no ive got a list of people who ordered this suicide powder
i said oh
i said oh crumbs
well i guess you want it
he said yes we want you to give it to us
i said is your name on the list
he said no
i said well only people on the list can have it
he said no
he stopped talking
he put me on a mental health hold
my nurse spits in my cornflakes i think
she resents me
by law she has to sit with me
all day long so i dont kill myself
and im a bad conversation partner
she just watches tv
and i sit here
kind of unhappy and lame
and that irritates her
they said hey we heard you ordered some suicide powder online
i said who said
he said they said
i said who is they
he said they said theyre the police
i said i thought you were the police
and the police was like yeah but these were like the big police
the international police
and i said well why are the international police
asking if ive ordered suicide powder
havent they got bigger fish to fry if theyre policing the whole world
and the police police said i dont know they just told us its a pretty big operation
and we need to check if you are dead
i said well im not dead
they said you got some powder that makes you dead
i said nah im not dead nor do i harness the powers of death
he said well ive got this list that says you do
i say to the policeman look i havent got the powers of death
i am not a greek god and i have never been one
he said but it says so on the list
i said you have got a list of the different gods of death?
he said no ive got a list of people who ordered this suicide powder
i said oh
i said oh crumbs
well i guess you want it
he said yes we want you to give it to us
i said is your name on the list
he said no
i said well only people on the list can have it
he said no
he stopped talking
he put me on a mental health hold
my nurse spits in my cornflakes i think
she resents me
by law she has to sit with me
all day long so i dont kill myself
and im a bad conversation partner
she just watches tv
and i sit here
kind of unhappy and lame
and that irritates her
(Edited 1 minute later.)
+Anonymous B — 1.4 year ago, 7 minutes later[T] [B] #653,121
Please hurry and kill yourself.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 1.4 year ago, 2 minutes later, 9 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #653,122
+Anonymous C — 1.4 year ago, 9 minutes later, 19 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #653,123
@OP
Admit that none of this actually happened.
Admit that none of this actually happened.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 1.4 year ago, 3 hours later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #653,127
+Chuffed !m8sJfgzmLE — 1.4 year ago, 4 hours later, 8 hours after the original post[T] [B] #653,138
Did you get the thing I sent ya?+FuckAlms !vX8K53rFBI — 1.4 year ago, 1 hour later, 9 hours after the original post[T] [B] #653,141
+Anonymous F — 1.4 year ago, 5 hours later, 15 hours after the original post[T] [B] #653,150
what is the name tho??
·Anonymous A (OP) — 1.4 year ago, 59 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[T] [B] #653,155
@653,141 (FuckAlms !vX8K53rFBI)
nah
get this
they arrested the dude selling the stuff
and then they looked at his customer list
dude was payin taxes
pretending it was a legit business
and the police were like hell nah
we been finding dead kids
huffing your stuff man
let me see those spreadsheets
nah
get this
they arrested the dude selling the stuff
and then they looked at his customer list
dude was payin taxes
pretending it was a legit business
and the police were like hell nah
we been finding dead kids
huffing your stuff man
let me see those spreadsheets
(Edited 6 minutes later.)
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