TinyChan

👁️_👃👁️👂 
🫲          👈

There is an open contempt for you, direct and willful, I see no civility and they very much want you gone. You should see the flattery in that. You ruin their day every time they see your name on a post. You see a conversation with friends, they see a fight against the only thing that they feel has any value. And they bring guns to a knife fight. And even as long ago as the Ask forum, Bookshelf would often enough have shown up in a battleship. You may not recognize that you do that, and you're not even wrong, you leave little room for argument, and are open to areas of disagreement, but that's civil discourse. When it's unproductive, and there is no retention of understanding between context, understanding is ignored. Contemptuously. They'd have you waste your time repeating things that they'll never read, care about or understand. Even if they do, it's unlikely they'd tell you. It's how they make you look like a fool in their eyes, and you do. There is no respect there. If they ever did at one time, they years have taken that from them. You said that you left for a number of years and returned and if you hadn't you might very well still fit in just fine. Would you want to? Do you want to? Are you happier when you're interacting with them? Or has this become about winning? Or being right, or validated. What catharsis is there in any of this for you? You could prove yourself, and be right and win and humiliate people like they'd be happy to do to you. There's no going to be any humiliation felt if you did. You would just be hated that much more.

There is no winning, or catharsis at the end of this for you. It's a foot race, and those up front are stabbed in the back by those behind them. And if there's a finish line, you won't make it past the gun fight. There's no room for being right, or winning, or even much for being liked. Show me where it seems like anyone really likes other people and enjoy the conversation. Or does no one care, and questions are asked not to seek out understanding but to find more ways to be uncivil? That's something to think about, rather than worry that you're being unfair when you consider which particular someone is being uncivil. It didn't matter if the worst, or the majority of the ugliness on the Ask forum came from 1 source. That's all there was there. And I came to that conclusion later than I should have, and what that says about me says more about my character than can be said about some entire lives. I'm not proud of that, I find pity for people who have difficulty with their humanity. I was seeking to make a connection and you're seeking to maintain a connection. To whom?

------

The troll "LOL Tteh!!" more than their other ilk was indeed the straw that broke the camel's back, convincing me I needed to shut down the forum. I will admit, it was a difficult period, not just for me but for everyone who had come to value the community for its opportunities for genuine connection and support. My concern was that the forum had become a platform for more harm than good, a risk that extended beyond my personal or professional well-being.

Depriving the hunter of their hunting grounds is often the most pragmatic way to deny them would be victims. As good as a killing blow, but at some cost. An unfortunate compromise, as something of value was lost. And no matter how dismissively they framed it, it hurt them a great deal for some reason. For many years I have had to waste time cleaning up the messes that I find, and that's all that they get from me is the knowledge that I saw it. From a psychological perspective I can only say there is nothing that can fix this person. This is not a behavior problem that can be addressed and corrected, this is a personality type. It will never change, they'll never care, and they way forward is to let them be nothing of value and let them get lost. That's what they want for everyone.