TinyChan

Topic: You probably aren't going to believe this...

+Anonymous A6.2 years ago #55,363

...but I'm living with COVID-19 all around me. I haven't contracted it so far, but:

Yesterday, the apartment complex where I'm staying was visited twice by the men in the hazmat suits. Elderly residents were taken away (presumably to hospital) via ambulance.

Nearby parks and playgrounds are noticeably empty, even on fair-weather days.

Day-care centers, elementary schools and high schools have been closed for over a week.

A number of stations on our subway line have been shut down until further notice.

Local universities and colleges have postponed classes for several weeks. The new semester will start late this year.

Traffic is perceptibly thinner at peak hour.

Supplies of hand sanitizer and face masks have sold out at local stores and pharmacies.

Certain parts of the downtown area look like a ghost town. Shops and restaurants deserted, crosswalks and intersections practically devoid of movement most hours of the day. Meanwhile, bulk-buying supermarkets are a frenzy of activity as young couples rush around stocking up for their families.

Seriously, it's starting to look like a science fiction movie out here, not kidding. I'm living outside the US, but for privacy reasons, I'm using a proxy. Will post updates every few days if the current situation changes.

(Edited 57 seconds later.)


+Anonymous B6.2 years ago, 35 seconds later[T] [B] #581,745

Keep this gay shit on MC Matt.

+Anonymous C6.2 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #581,746

I see

+Anonymous D6.2 years ago, 58 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #581,747

@581,745 (B)
> Keep this gay shit on MC Matt.

This. It's absolutely hilarious that there are 3 weeks of posts on the front page of this forum. Stop making dumb new threads.

+Anonymous E6.2 years ago, 4 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #581,748

Is this a Coronavirus thread?

·Anonymous B6.2 years ago, 6 hours later, 12 hours after the original post[T] [B] #581,750

@previous (E)
Nope. It's the schtick-virus, known as 1d10t. It's a virus that is known to have started in Lafayette, Louisiana. It is passed along to others by trying to infiltrate your belief system.

Once it enters your belief system, and you believe every word said by Matthew R. Miller, you are pretty well fucked.

This virus was created accidentally (we think). It was caused by mixing sewer oil and feces together, cooking it up with Chinese food, and calling it authentic.

There is no known cure for 1d10t, aka: schtick-virus,

Side affects include, but not limited to:

Uncontrollable explosive diarrhea

Massive headache (500 times worse than a migraine)

Problems urinating

Suicidal thoughts

Sleepless nights

Crying or laughing at stupid things

Unexplained weight gain

Unexplained weight loss

Contract tuberculosis or legionaries disease


You may also experience sudden urges, such as:

Opening your own food truck

Getting your degree from an online university

Attempt to make a food guide

Not pay your taxes

Become a ghost Hunter

Move to China

Meet and marry an imaginary Chinese girl

Stalk geriatric 77 almost 80 year old men


If you experience any of these symptoms or urges, please contact your local virus control center, and tell them you believe you may have contacted the 1d10t virus.

+Syntax6.2 years ago, 6 hours later, 19 hours after the original post[T] [B] #581,764

@previous (B)
Found ur reply on MC
Quality summation you have

+ducky !MwWb.dJjRc6.2 years ago, 4 hours later, 23 hours after the original post[T] [B] #581,770

@581,750 (B)
looool

+Anonymous H6.2 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[T] [B] #581,773

@581,764 (Syntax)
Go away, Lynne.

+Anonymous I6.2 years ago, 4 days later, 5 days after the original post[T] [B] #581,926

tl;dr

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