Topic: Donald Trump once masturbated a tortoise and created a man-tortoise baby (more fake news debunked)
+Anonymous A — 7.2 years ago #52,799
This one has been doing the rounds. The despicable lie goes that Donald Trump masturbated a tortoise and then drank a cup of his semen. He then visited a Russian prostitute and performed a sex act on her with his mouth. Some of the tortoise semen was still in his mouth during the sex act and it went inside the woman and got her pregnant. Seven months later that prostitute gave birth and now Donald Trump has a son who is half tortoise and lives off lettuce pizza. This is absolutely fake news. We can prove this is fake news by asking the following questions:
1. Why would Donald Trump sleep with a prostitute when he has gone on record stating how much he respects women and he is already a MARRIED man?
2. Before becoming President Donald Trump lived in the State of New York where it is illegal to own or purchase a tortoise. How could he have masturbated a tortoise and drunk it’s semen if it’s illegal to have such a tortoise?
3. For a tortoise to be aroused it must smell the pheromones of a female tortoise. Donald Trump does not emit these pheromones otherwise he would obviously BE FOLLOWED AROUND BY TORTOISES. There is no documentary proof of this EVER happening.
CONCLUSION: FAKE NEWS
1. Why would Donald Trump sleep with a prostitute when he has gone on record stating how much he respects women and he is already a MARRIED man?
2. Before becoming President Donald Trump lived in the State of New York where it is illegal to own or purchase a tortoise. How could he have masturbated a tortoise and drunk it’s semen if it’s illegal to have such a tortoise?
3. For a tortoise to be aroused it must smell the pheromones of a female tortoise. Donald Trump does not emit these pheromones otherwise he would obviously BE FOLLOWED AROUND BY TORTOISES. There is no documentary proof of this EVER happening.
CONCLUSION: FAKE NEWS
+Dr. Chattanooga !!SlFawOoKvd — 7.2 years ago, 1 hour later[T] [B] #559,832
+Anonymous C — 7.2 years ago, 53 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #559,833
Go back to MC Matt.
+Anonymous D — 7.1 years ago, 2 weeks later, 2 weeks after the original post[T] [B] #560,243
Donald Trump is the greatest president this country has ever known. Thank you for exposing these lies and falsehoods.
+Anonymous E — 7.1 years ago, 16 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[T] [B] #560,255
+Jim !a9Y4fazouc — 7.1 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[T] [B] #560,259
·Dr. Chattnooga !!YwB4cLhH7k (OP) — 6.6 years ago, 6 months later, 6 months after the original post[T] [B] #575,996
Bumping for fake news awareness.+Anonymous G — 6.6 years ago, 1 hour later, 6 months after the original post[T] [B] #576,015
+Anonymous H — 6.6 years ago, 1 week later, 7 months after the original post[T] [B] #576,347
But do you say TORT-uss, or tor-TOYS?
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