Topic: This is the reason why bert will never stop living as a bum.

+Anonymous A — 9.1 years ago #48,330

37 ways you’d be better off as a bum.

You don’t pay taxes on any money you collect
You don’t have a mortgage
You don’t have a boss
You can never get fired
You have zero debt
You can pick up and move anytime you want
You don’t have a car payment
You don’t get stuck in traffic jams
You’ll never break down on the motorway
You don’t have to pay bills
Or remember to pay bills
You don’t care about your credit report
You don’t get harassing calls from collection agencies
You don’t get calls…period
You don’t have to deal with junk mail
You don’t have to wake up to an annoying alarm
You don’t have to do laundry
You don’t get criticized for bad fashion choices
You don’t have email to check (Well, apart from PayPal dude)
You don’t have to wait three hours in security at the airport
You don’t have to attend parties with people you hate
You don’t have to fix yet another paper jam
You never have to sit through an ad featuring Billy Mays
You don’t have to vacuum
Or spring clean
Or scrub the toilet
You don’t get bothered by cell-phone salesmen in malls
You don’t care about identity theft
You don't give a crap about reality shows (you're living one every day)
Going to jail for the night means a warm bed and a meal
You've (probably) never heard of Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian
Newspapers are actually handy; and you can read them too
You don't care if gas hits $4 a gallon
Sell-by dates are your friend
Every cent is valuable to you; spare change is an oxymoron
Hair salons are a joke
You can say you're free...and mean it

+Anonymous B — 9.1 years ago, 1 hour later[T] [B] #524,214

fuck all that..

what you need to know...is that almost all of those things sound bizarre to me..

I have for the most part...as far as most people would ever know...been a model citizen...for over forty years..

you lightweight young suckpuppies ain't got shit...on ol Bert..

NEVER FORGET THAT..

(Edited 1 minute later.)

+Syntax — 9.1 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #524,215

@previous (B)

> I have for the most part...as far as most people would ever know...been a model citizen...for over forty years..

Model? Where is Rep when I need him

I hope I am rong but as I C's it - You hit the skids because of that Liquid you cannot resist that cums in a bottle. You let Demon Rhum put you on the street and Demon Rhum aka Anycheep Liquor now owns your ass. You have becume what you drink - Even you cannot deny that. It owns your ass - Your very soul is owned by Demon Rhum

Until you give up that so called Occasional drink - The street is now your new address until something terrible happens 2 ya

+Anonymous D — 9.1 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #524,216

@previous (Syntax)
Cool story, Anonymous A.

·Anonymous B — 9.1 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #524,219

@524,215 (Syntax)
I somehow don't see the bottle as reason for my downfall...which it has to be though...since I was raised with an above average sense of ethics..

Im very used to the booze though...I'm counting about nine or ten years..

started off with a three shot epic cocktail...and that is in fact a six shot epic today..

·Anonymous B — 9.1 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #524,220

damn...that's equivalent to a twelve pack of beer drank in one swallow to get buzzed..

·Syntax — 9.1 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #524,221

@524,219 (B)
@previous (B)
Enjoy being homeless.

·Anonymous A (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #524,222

@524,219 (B)
@524,220 (B)

3 Shots turns to 6 shots and you can see where the math is going.
Math says at that rate Homeless is going to be your only long term option - Another summer you can survive but wot happens next winter or the winter after?

(Edited 25 seconds later.)

·Syntax — 9.1 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #524,223

@524,221 (Syntax)

·Syntax — 9.1 years ago, 20 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #524,224

@previous (Syntax)
blah blah blah fagit troll.

+Anonymous E — 9.1 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #524,225

@previous (Syntax)
You make a crappy clone of syntax.

·Anonymous D — 9.1 years ago, 27 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #524,226

@previous (E)
blah blah blah samefaggot.

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