Topic: Bullshit stories
+Anonymous A — 9.1 years ago #48,288
Yesterday I was on my way to work when a semi truck hit a dinosaur on the highway and stopped traffic for over an hour. But luckily one of the beasts more valuable internal organs fell right through my sunroof onto my center console. Having sturdy connects in the dinosaur organ black market I took it straight to a buddies house and handed it straight off for a good chunk of dough. But today I was walking my dog in the park and what do we happen to find? The same dinosaur organ, I'm gonna just let him eat it this time.
+Nugget Syntaxroll !Uvm54ORbmo — 9.1 years ago, 2 minutes later[T] [B] #523,805
Bert once told that story, that he will get a job.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 2 minutes later, 5 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #523,807
"And I took my money straight to the hall of records and got my name legally changed to everqueer and with the leftover change bought more bottles"
·Nugget Syntaxroll !Uvm54ORbmo — 9.1 years ago, 22 minutes later, 27 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #523,813
@previous (A)
was that what bert said?
ionno doesnt sound all bullshit to me, esp the leftover change goes into more bottles part
was that what bert said?
ionno doesnt sound all bullshit to me, esp the leftover change goes into more bottles part
+FuckAlms !vX8K53rFBI — 9.1 years ago, 4 minutes later, 31 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #523,815
@OP
*buttshit stories
*buttshit stories
+Dead !Pool..v42s — 9.1 years ago, 2 minutes later, 34 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #523,818
I was walking in a field and stepped in something warm :(
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 3 minutes later, 37 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #523,819
One day I was just walking along and I started to just buttshit uncontrollably all down my leg until my pants could no longer contain the mass volume of buttshit so I removed them and started projectile buttshitting down the sidewalk a river started to form and little buttfishes started a breeding cycle in it and now always return to that spot annually to hatch their shit families
·Nugget Syntaxroll !Uvm54ORbmo — 9.1 years ago, 1 minute later, 39 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #523,820
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 3 minutes later, 42 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #523,821
Not fucking around!
The buttshit story must be told
The buttshit story must be told
+Syntax — 9.1 years ago, 9 minutes later, 52 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #523,822
Today I took a trip to Knoxville to meet up with bert. To guarantee a 20+ year cure for his alcohol problems he agreed to put a knife to the throat of a cop on the beat. He was arrested and admitted guilt. In prison he will remain dry for at least 20 years.
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 6 minutes later, 59 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #523,824
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,829
One day Bert took a good long look at his life and realized he didn't need validation from shitposters on the internet to make him feel like a real person so he decided to put some real effort into becoming part of society and got a job, left the internet forever , and succeded, leaving tiny chan to rot until it found a new interesting victim.
And then the cycle re-started
This was of course a "best case scenario" type story
And then the cycle re-started
This was of course a "best case scenario" type story
+Anonymous F — 9.1 years ago, 30 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,834
One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
> That's just the short version of a long story.
> That's just the short version of a long story.
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,835
Once upon a time there lived a cyclops with a weird second deformed eye, outcasted from cyclops society as a child he grew up alone and bitter living in the side of a mountain near a village, this cyclops had one main problem being that his eyesight wasn't good enough to hunt in the dark woods he needed a human craftsman to fashion him some glasses but any time he came near the town the villagers would all scream and riot, set things on fire. This negative reaction to his cries for help made him lose his temper and usually eat everyone in the village, which is how he stays alive.
·Anonymous F — 9.1 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,836
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 3 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,837
@523,834 (F)
> One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
>
>
> > That's just the short version of a long story.
One day Bert's girlfriend reevaluated her life choices and went another route.
> One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
>
>
> > That's just the short version of a long story.
One day Bert's girlfriend reevaluated her life choices and went another route.
·Dead !Pool..v42s — 9.1 years ago, 45 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,838
One day there was a chair, and he wanted to be a space ship! So he went through vigorous training and mental preparation for his goal. Sadly he burnt up in a glorious blaze when he stood on the launching platform
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,839
@previous (Dead !Pool..v42s)> One day there was a chair, and he wanted to be a space ship! So he went through vigorous training and mental preparation for his goal. Sadly he burnt up in a glorious blaze when he stood on the launching platform
·Anonymous F — 9.1 years ago, 57 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,840
@523,837 (Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog)
> > One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
> One day Bert's girlfriend reevaluated her life choices and went another route.
When Bert found out, he went on a jealous rampage, by curbstomping a helpless kitten.
> > One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
> One day Bert's girlfriend reevaluated her life choices and went another route.
When Bert found out, he went on a jealous rampage, by curbstomping a helpless kitten.
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 33 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,841
@523,838 (Dead !Pool..v42s)
> One day there was a chair, and he wanted to be a space ship! So he went through vigorous training and mental preparation for his goal. Sadly he burnt up in a glorious blaze when he stood on the launching platform
One day there was a spaceship that wanted to be a chair so it stood there silently trying to convince the astronauts to dismantle it
> One day there was a chair, and he wanted to be a space ship! So he went through vigorous training and mental preparation for his goal. Sadly he burnt up in a glorious blaze when he stood on the launching platform
One day there was a spaceship that wanted to be a chair so it stood there silently trying to convince the astronauts to dismantle it
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #523,842
@523,840 (F)> > > One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
>
> > One day Bert's girlfriend reevaluated her life choices and went another route.
>
> When Bert found out, he went on a jealous rampage, by curbstomping a helpless kitten.
This kittens entire cat family happened to be in the bushes and started a secret society to plot their revenge.
Justice will be had at their claws
·Anonymous F — 9.1 years ago, 5 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #523,843
@previous (Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog)
> > > > One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
> >
> > > One day Bert's girlfriend reevaluated her life choices and went another route.
> >
> > When Bert found out, he went on a jealous rampage, by curbstomping a helpless kitten.
>
> This kittens entire cat family happened to be in the bushes and started a secret society to plot their revenge.
> Justice will be had at their claws
Meanwhile, Bert travelled across town, got a bottle of everclear, and started fantasizing about his sister's ta tas.
> > > > One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
> >
> > > One day Bert's girlfriend reevaluated her life choices and went another route.
> >
> > When Bert found out, he went on a jealous rampage, by curbstomping a helpless kitten.
>
> This kittens entire cat family happened to be in the bushes and started a secret society to plot their revenge.
> Justice will be had at their claws
Meanwhile, Bert travelled across town, got a bottle of everclear, and started fantasizing about his sister's ta tas.
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #523,844
@previous (F)
> > > > > One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
> > >
> > > > One day Bert's girlfriend reevaluated her life choices and went another route.
> > >
> > > When Bert found out, he went on a jealous rampage, by curbstomping a helpless kitten.
> >
> > This kittens entire cat family happened to be in the bushes and started a secret society to plot their revenge.
> > Justice will be had at their claws
>
> Meanwhile, Bert travelled across town, got a bottle of everclear, and started fantasizing about his sister's ta tas.
Just as Bert was getting drunk enough to handle his sisters tatas the band of cats for justice pounces in through the open window and claws out Bert's eyes inadvertently ripping the shit out of Bert's sisters tits too.
Her perfect tits are ruined! She will have no mercy in her revenge, she won't stop until no cat is left breathing!
> > > > > One day, Bert found a girlfriend.
> > >
> > > > One day Bert's girlfriend reevaluated her life choices and went another route.
> > >
> > > When Bert found out, he went on a jealous rampage, by curbstomping a helpless kitten.
> >
> > This kittens entire cat family happened to be in the bushes and started a secret society to plot their revenge.
> > Justice will be had at their claws
>
> Meanwhile, Bert travelled across town, got a bottle of everclear, and started fantasizing about his sister's ta tas.
Just as Bert was getting drunk enough to handle his sisters tatas the band of cats for justice pounces in through the open window and claws out Bert's eyes inadvertently ripping the shit out of Bert's sisters tits too.
Her perfect tits are ruined! She will have no mercy in her revenge, she won't stop until no cat is left breathing!
·Dumbfluff !rBOeWnddog (OP) — 9.1 years ago, 18 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #523,845
Also is it just me or are all these stories about Bert, even the ones that aren't...
O.o
O.o
·FuckAlms !vX8K53rFBI — 9.1 years ago, 51 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[T] [B] #523,847
Start a new topic to continue this conversation.
Or browse the latest topics.