Topic: And now, its Story Time... with your host, Mr. Teddy.
+Mr. Teddy !Gr2D8UC9ww — 9.2 years ago #47,814
Bert gets an interview at the nursing home
*Ring Ring* *Ring Ring*
"What the fuck motherfucker? I'm trying to sleep." mutters Bert, as he picks the dried cum drops out of his beard from the night before. He picks up his piece of shit, government paid cellphone, and answers, "Yello," he says in his not so southern gentlemanly charm. "Is this Bert?" asked a female voice on the other end. He answers yes, and she proceeds to tell him why shes calling.
"My name is Mrs. Linda from the Knoxville Area Nursing Home, and this is to inform you, that after I viewed your application, I would like for you to come and see me for an interview." she says.
"Uh, yea, sure, what time?" mumbles Bert, as he thinks she coming onto him. "Would 10:00 be a good time for you?" she asked him. Not wanting to give up his seat at the mission for a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal, he lied and said he had another interview at that time, and if they could make it at 11. She agreed.
Bert crawls out of his filthy blanket, and unzips his tent door, and the sunshine filters in. Its going to be a wonderful day, he tells himself. He crawls out, gets his dirty jeans and shakes as much dirt and grime, as he could off of them. He then walks down to the brown, muddy looking stream, filled with empty cans, trash, urine and feces. He dips his hands in and splashes water onto his face, shivering as the cold hit him. When he opened his eyes back up, he noticed something brown stuck to his nose. Absentmindedly, he picks the turd off and drops it.
After a while, and after his lukewarm oatmeal, and warm cup of apple juice, he heads to his interview. As he walks up the walkway, two nursing home guards stop him. "We do not serve hot soup for homeless people here." said one of the guards. Bert replied, in a gay, cheery voice, that he was here for an interview. After a brief conversation with Mrs, Linda over the phone, the guards let him through, and he walked trough the door. As he made his way up the hallway to the Human Resources Dept, people turned and stared, and made a face of disgust. He sniffed his armpits and wondered why they were looking at him like that. He shrugged it off and walked into the office, and there he saw it.
The most beautiful black woman he ever laid eyes on. Even though he could only see the back of her, she had long legs, shoulder length straight black hair, and a killer ass. "EXCUSE ME?" said a voice, bringing him back to reality. It was the secretary yelling at him. His first thought for her was "Bitch, I should curbstomp you." Instead he replied he was there to see Mrs. Linda. After 10 minutes of waiting, it was time for his interview. The secretary sent him in, and he sat down and waited for Mrs. Linda.
In walks Mrs. Linda, the most perfect figure of a woman he has ever seen, even though she was black. She sat down behind her desk, and looks deeply into his eyes, and Bert starts thinking that maybe he should lean over and kiss her, as per the advice of his TinyChan comrades. As he started to lean forward, his eyes closed, he heard metallic sounds hitting the desk. He opened his eyes to see 6 quarters, 3 dimes, and 2 pennies laying there. She looks at him and winks.
"I....I don't understand.." says Bert.
"I tried catching you, but you were gone pretty quick." she says.
"What?" asked Bert, with a look of confusion.
Mrs Linda stood, and started lifting her skirt. And she replied, "Last night, we were going at it, until the police turned the corner."
Bert sat and watched her as she was lifting her skirt, trying to remember how sweet it was.
"I didnt want you to go away empty handed, I needed to pay you." she said.
Finally, the skirt lifted up, and the biggest black cock Bert has ever seen, popped out.
He then remembered, why he was picking dried cum drops off his beard that morning.
"But, but, what about my job?" asked a frantic Bert.
Mrs. Linda looked at him, smiled and said, "Honey, what did you think I was hiring you for? Unfortunately, I've gotten better blowjobs from a hair dryer."
I hope you enjoyed this weeks episode of Mr. Teddy's Story Time. Tune in next week for "The night Bert gets drunk."
*Ring Ring* *Ring Ring*
"What the fuck motherfucker? I'm trying to sleep." mutters Bert, as he picks the dried cum drops out of his beard from the night before. He picks up his piece of shit, government paid cellphone, and answers, "Yello," he says in his not so southern gentlemanly charm. "Is this Bert?" asked a female voice on the other end. He answers yes, and she proceeds to tell him why shes calling.
"My name is Mrs. Linda from the Knoxville Area Nursing Home, and this is to inform you, that after I viewed your application, I would like for you to come and see me for an interview." she says.
"Uh, yea, sure, what time?" mumbles Bert, as he thinks she coming onto him. "Would 10:00 be a good time for you?" she asked him. Not wanting to give up his seat at the mission for a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal, he lied and said he had another interview at that time, and if they could make it at 11. She agreed.
Bert crawls out of his filthy blanket, and unzips his tent door, and the sunshine filters in. Its going to be a wonderful day, he tells himself. He crawls out, gets his dirty jeans and shakes as much dirt and grime, as he could off of them. He then walks down to the brown, muddy looking stream, filled with empty cans, trash, urine and feces. He dips his hands in and splashes water onto his face, shivering as the cold hit him. When he opened his eyes back up, he noticed something brown stuck to his nose. Absentmindedly, he picks the turd off and drops it.
After a while, and after his lukewarm oatmeal, and warm cup of apple juice, he heads to his interview. As he walks up the walkway, two nursing home guards stop him. "We do not serve hot soup for homeless people here." said one of the guards. Bert replied, in a gay, cheery voice, that he was here for an interview. After a brief conversation with Mrs, Linda over the phone, the guards let him through, and he walked trough the door. As he made his way up the hallway to the Human Resources Dept, people turned and stared, and made a face of disgust. He sniffed his armpits and wondered why they were looking at him like that. He shrugged it off and walked into the office, and there he saw it.
The most beautiful black woman he ever laid eyes on. Even though he could only see the back of her, she had long legs, shoulder length straight black hair, and a killer ass. "EXCUSE ME?" said a voice, bringing him back to reality. It was the secretary yelling at him. His first thought for her was "Bitch, I should curbstomp you." Instead he replied he was there to see Mrs. Linda. After 10 minutes of waiting, it was time for his interview. The secretary sent him in, and he sat down and waited for Mrs. Linda.
In walks Mrs. Linda, the most perfect figure of a woman he has ever seen, even though she was black. She sat down behind her desk, and looks deeply into his eyes, and Bert starts thinking that maybe he should lean over and kiss her, as per the advice of his TinyChan comrades. As he started to lean forward, his eyes closed, he heard metallic sounds hitting the desk. He opened his eyes to see 6 quarters, 3 dimes, and 2 pennies laying there. She looks at him and winks.
"I....I don't understand.." says Bert.
"I tried catching you, but you were gone pretty quick." she says.
"What?" asked Bert, with a look of confusion.
Mrs Linda stood, and started lifting her skirt. And she replied, "Last night, we were going at it, until the police turned the corner."
Bert sat and watched her as she was lifting her skirt, trying to remember how sweet it was.
"I didnt want you to go away empty handed, I needed to pay you." she said.
Finally, the skirt lifted up, and the biggest black cock Bert has ever seen, popped out.
He then remembered, why he was picking dried cum drops off his beard that morning.
"But, but, what about my job?" asked a frantic Bert.
Mrs. Linda looked at him, smiled and said, "Honey, what did you think I was hiring you for? Unfortunately, I've gotten better blowjobs from a hair dryer."
I hope you enjoyed this weeks episode of Mr. Teddy's Story Time. Tune in next week for "The night Bert gets drunk."
+Anonymous B — 9.2 years ago, 8 minutes later[T] [B] #519,015
+Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 21 minutes later, 30 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #519,018
damlol
+Dead !Pool..v42s — 9.2 years ago, 4 hours later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #519,033
Terrible but I smirked at the ending
+The Asshole !j8WdfRT3xY — 9.2 years ago, 8 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #519,036
@previous (Dead !Pool..v42s)
It was about Bert, that's why it was terrible. But yea, the hairdryer thing was good.
It was about Bert, that's why it was terrible. But yea, the hairdryer thing was good.
Start a new topic to continue this conversation.
Or browse the latest topics.