Topic: How will we celebrate Bert's prison sentence?

+Anonymous A — 9.2 years ago #47,660

Alternately, how will we celebrate the suicide he's been promising for the past couple of months?

+Anonymous B — 9.2 years ago, 3 minutes later[T] [B] #516,931

maybe plant some flowers in your neighborhood where there are none..

I always favored ireses and african violets..

·Anonymous B — 9.2 years ago, 3 minutes later, 6 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #516,932

perhaps make a donation to the ASPCA..

neglected animals need help..

·Anonymous B — 9.2 years ago, 1 minute later, 7 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #516,934

consider volunteering some time with Habitat for Humanity...if they operate in your area..

they help a lot of people..

+Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 6 minutes later, 13 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #516,939

@516,932 (B)

> curbstomps kittens
> claims to be compassionate

Nice try.

@previous (B)

> Is homeless
> Pretends to car about homes.

Nice try.

·Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 1 minute later, 14 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #516,940

I'll probably just laugh quietly to myself, I mean, one of those is inevitable for everyone, but the other seems fairly likely, too.

+Anonymous D — 9.2 years ago, 1 minute later, 16 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #516,941

@516,939 (C)
You need Jesus..

·Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 5 minutes later, 22 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #516,944

@previous (D)

Satan saves.

·Anonymous D — 9.2 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #516,955

@previous (C)
You are a damned fool..

+Anonymous E — 9.2 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #516,956

@previous (D)

If you're a representative of God then I question whether or not God is worth worshiping.

·Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 59 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #516,957

@516,955 (D)

Let us give his infernal majesty his due.

Besides it doesn't seem like god is helping you much at the moment.

·Anonymous D — 9.2 years ago, 16 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #516,959

@previous (C)
Is there an instant incantation I can do which will make an eightball of decent coke appear before me..

+Anonymous F — 9.2 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #516,960

@previous (D)

Even now, all you can think about is getting wasted. Maybe you should ask about the incantation to make a steady paycheck appear.

(Edited 20 seconds later.)

·Anonymous D — 9.2 years ago, 53 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #516,961

that's what I thought...Fail..

·Anonymous F — 9.2 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #516,963

@previous (D)

Yes bert, you're entire life is one 50 year-long fail.

·Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 hours after the original post[T] [B] #516,986

@516,959 (D)
There's no magickal incantation that'll help you if you don't help yourself.

Satanism is about helping yourself and self-reliance. Instead of begging for some omnipotent bearded cloud wizard to lift you up, you lift yourself up.

Besides, you should ask for a job waaaaay before you ask for coke. Then after you ask you still need to go apply for jobs.

(Edited 1 minute later.)

+The Asshole !j8WdfRT3xY — 9.2 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[T] [B] #516,987

@516,931 (B)
> I always favored african american males..

ftfy

+Nugget Syntaxroll !Uvm54ORbmo — 9.2 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #516,999

ICE CREAM SOCIAL + SPRITE PARTY

(Edited 24 seconds later.)

+Anonymous I — 9.2 years ago, 21 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #517,000

@516,941 (D)
> You need Jesus..

And just exactly what has Jesus done for you recently?

·Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 1 hour later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #517,019

@previous (I)

Well, uhm, he died for me, like a couple thousand years ago. Which is crazy because I didn't even know the guy! I'm not sure why he died for me exactly, but several people have told me it's true.

I think he may need a heart transplant, too, because people keep saying I should give my heart over to him. Why does he need a heart transplant if he's dead? Unless he's not reallly dead. Even then I still need my heart for stuff like living.

·Syntax — 9.2 years ago, 17 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #517,023

@previous (C)
> Well, uhm, he died for me, like a couple thousand years ago

So like Jesus is now dust n mold and in no position to help anyone.

·Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 29 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #517,030

@previous (Syntax)

So, what you're saying is... he doesn't need a heart transplant?

·Syntax — 9.2 years ago, 18 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[T] [B] #517,032

@previous (C)

He is no fool nuff to give a dead guy of a few thousands years a fresh heart

·Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 5 hours later, 12 hours after the original post[T] [B] #517,052

@previous (Syntax)

Wow, he's probably had a few of them already, huh?

·Anonymous G — 9.2 years ago, 55 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[T] [B] #517,061

@517,019 (C)

If he died for you, like, a couple thousand years ago, he technically didn't "die for you." He died for some cavemen back then.

A couple thousand years ago, you and I were not even thought of, and he wasnt thinking of us, because he didn't even know us.

·Anonymous C — 9.2 years ago, 45 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[T] [B] #517,065

@previous (G)
OMS.

You're right, I've been bamboozled!

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