Topic: The Legend of Hank Splatters
+e e cummin — 10.5 years ago #44,641
as her milky thighs engulfed, my hard glowing crown,
i fingered her butthole, all tight and brown.
then felt the point of a nice tapered log,
so i decided to ball her just like a dog.
i withdrew my cock, from her cunny so wet,
rolled her over to mount, and what did i get?
a squeeky little *poot* escaped from her bung,
and what did i sniff the sweet smell of dung.
nectar to my nostrils, the young fragrance of shit,
oh it smells so much better, that her sweet little slit.
so i decided to try and coax out that turd,
then I lubed up my finger, and flipped out the bird.
her puckered young anus winked at my touch,
then up to the first knuckle it didn't take much.
i wiggled my finger then jammed it up deep,
her butthole started talking with another sweet *peep*
as the air filled, with her bowels' fetid stench,
the turd was then birthed, and the loaf neatly pinched.
the long sleek log dropped down on the covers,
it was hard to resists, it but i waited for others.
but then in a volley her asshole expelled,
some very runny shit, and oh did it smell.
i couldn't resist it, i couldn't wait anymore,
i had to consume, the shit from this whore.
so i mashed my mouth tight, over her ass,
and started to swallow her shit and her gas.
the runny shit choked me i started to gag,
but i kept on consuming the turds from this hag.
i swallowed everything that she shit out at me,
then i sucked on her vulva till she started to pee.
i used that golden fluid to wash down her shit,
the taste was now helping my dick to grow stiff.
i had to shoot, my wad somewhere fast,
so i started to gouge it deep up her ass.
then all of a sudden i got kind of pissed,
and started to hit her, hard with my fist.
she let out a grunt as i landed a blow,
then started to quiver and moaned kind of low.
after i beat her she laid very still,
then my balls burst open and i started to fill.
i loaded her guts full of my wad,
and withdrew very fast from her motionless bod.
as i started to leave without any remorse,
i took one last look at her shit covered corpse.
her butthole gaped open with sperm dripping down,
mixed with her shit, all runny and brown.
so i laughed as i walked on out the door,
without another thought of that shit covered whore.
i went to mcdonalds to get something to eat,
two big macs, one fry, oh what a treat!
now back to my house and turn on tube,
and watch andy griffith to somber my mood.
then off to my bed because nothing really matters,
its just another day in the life of hank splatters!
i fingered her butthole, all tight and brown.
then felt the point of a nice tapered log,
so i decided to ball her just like a dog.
i withdrew my cock, from her cunny so wet,
rolled her over to mount, and what did i get?
a squeeky little *poot* escaped from her bung,
and what did i sniff the sweet smell of dung.
nectar to my nostrils, the young fragrance of shit,
oh it smells so much better, that her sweet little slit.
so i decided to try and coax out that turd,
then I lubed up my finger, and flipped out the bird.
her puckered young anus winked at my touch,
then up to the first knuckle it didn't take much.
i wiggled my finger then jammed it up deep,
her butthole started talking with another sweet *peep*
as the air filled, with her bowels' fetid stench,
the turd was then birthed, and the loaf neatly pinched.
the long sleek log dropped down on the covers,
it was hard to resists, it but i waited for others.
but then in a volley her asshole expelled,
some very runny shit, and oh did it smell.
i couldn't resist it, i couldn't wait anymore,
i had to consume, the shit from this whore.
so i mashed my mouth tight, over her ass,
and started to swallow her shit and her gas.
the runny shit choked me i started to gag,
but i kept on consuming the turds from this hag.
i swallowed everything that she shit out at me,
then i sucked on her vulva till she started to pee.
i used that golden fluid to wash down her shit,
the taste was now helping my dick to grow stiff.
i had to shoot, my wad somewhere fast,
so i started to gouge it deep up her ass.
then all of a sudden i got kind of pissed,
and started to hit her, hard with my fist.
she let out a grunt as i landed a blow,
then started to quiver and moaned kind of low.
after i beat her she laid very still,
then my balls burst open and i started to fill.
i loaded her guts full of my wad,
and withdrew very fast from her motionless bod.
as i started to leave without any remorse,
i took one last look at her shit covered corpse.
her butthole gaped open with sperm dripping down,
mixed with her shit, all runny and brown.
so i laughed as i walked on out the door,
without another thought of that shit covered whore.
i went to mcdonalds to get something to eat,
two big macs, one fry, oh what a treat!
now back to my house and turn on tube,
and watch andy griffith to somber my mood.
then off to my bed because nothing really matters,
its just another day in the life of hank splatters!
+Anonymous B — 10.5 years ago, 17 minutes later[T] [B] #488,121
@OPen is broke
"B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)"
""NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz)"
"AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXX
WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD."
"Sire are dads have been shot!" Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem."
"They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz."
"Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked."
"Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio imo noto okayo!"
"Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!"
"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes u mst find urslf 1st, k?"
""OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then..... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites."
"We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then........................... he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily."
"I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!"
""Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)"
""Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words............ Vampire!
I was so angry.
"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.
"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.
"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!""
"Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,............................. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!"
""NO." he muttered loudly."
""Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."
"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit."
""What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT...." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"
"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly."
"I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot."
"And then............... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then....
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
It was............................................................Dumbledore!"
"B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."
"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.
"No." My head snaped up.
"WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?""
""Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away."
"I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent."
""I luv TaEbory." he whispered sexily and den we fel aspleep lol."
"I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois"
""What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything."
""Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."
"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie."
""You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1""
"der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.'"
"Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time."
"We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)"
"Then........................... he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily."
"We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it."
"We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy."
""Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes.""
"I smelled happily and went into a dark room."
""Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.""
""My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.
"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.
"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I roared."
""Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way."
"B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)"
""NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz)"
"AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXX
WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD."
"Sire are dads have been shot!" Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem."
"They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz."
"Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked."
"Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio imo noto okayo!"
"Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!"
"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes u mst find urslf 1st, k?"
""OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then..... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites."
"We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then........................... he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily."
"I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!"
""Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)"
""Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words............ Vampire!
I was so angry.
"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.
"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.
"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!""
"Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,............................. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!"
""NO." he muttered loudly."
""Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."
"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit."
""What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT...." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"
"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly."
"I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot."
"And then............... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then....
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
It was............................................................Dumbledore!"
"B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."
"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.
"No." My head snaped up.
"WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?""
""Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away."
"I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent."
""I luv TaEbory." he whispered sexily and den we fel aspleep lol."
"I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois"
""What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything."
""Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."
"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie."
""You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1""
"der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.'"
"Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time."
"We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)"
"Then........................... he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily."
"We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it."
"We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy."
""Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes.""
"I smelled happily and went into a dark room."
""Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.""
""My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.
"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.
"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I roared."
""Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way."
+Louie G.K. Ph.D !uSk4BCgU1. — 10.5 years ago, 4 minutes later, 21 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #488,122
·Anonymous B — 10.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 24 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #488,123
+Anonymous D — 10.5 years ago, 42 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #488,124
Fuck off Matt
+Dead !Pool..v42s — 10.5 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #488,127
·Anonymous B — 10.5 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #488,131
@488,123 (B)
To clarify, I mean my post. I'd pronounce all the typos literally. I'd never take the time to read OP's shit.
To clarify, I mean my post. I'd pronounce all the typos literally. I'd never take the time to read OP's shit.
Start a new topic to continue this conversation.
Or browse the latest topics.