Topic: Do you drink Wilkins Coffee?
+Anonymous A — 11.7 years ago #39,443
| Poll option | Votes | Percentage | Graph |
|---|---|---|---|
| Yes. | - | 0% | |
| No. | - | 0% | |
| Don't hurt me. | - | 0% | |
| Sprite. | - | 0% | |
| Boners. | - | 0% |
+Syntax — 11.7 years ago, 6 minutes later[T] [B] #434,864
The official mascot.Wilkins Coffee was the most popular brand of coffee from the beginning of time up until about the 1980s, and for a damn good reason. If you were caught drinking any other brand of coffee, Jim Henson's proto-Kermit would shoot you in the fucking face.
He literally killed the competition by offing any non-drinker of Wilkins in a myriad of sinister ways, and even televised them in the form of black and white coffee commercials as a way to advertise his unveiled threats. Each commercial came equipped with a corny yet deadly pun.
Wilkins eventually went out of business due to the countless lawsuits it received from the families of the victims who lost their lives to the blood-thirsty, coffee-crazed Kermit. Kermit was ultimately acquitted of all murder charges and went on to become the star of both Sesame Street and The Muppet Show, and the family members of the deceased had to live with
"Without Wilkins Coffee, you may wind up with a splitting headache." -Kermit The Frog
seeing the murderer taunt them on national television for the rest of their mortal lives.
+Syntax — 11.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 9 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #434,867
·Anonymous A (OP) — 11.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 13 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #434,872
·Syntax — 11.7 years ago, 16 minutes later, 30 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #434,893
·Syntax — 11.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 33 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #434,896
+Anonymous D — 11.7 years ago, 16 seconds later, 34 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #434,898
coffee is shit
·Syntax — 11.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 35 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #434,902
@previous (D)Except for the bathrooms in this house. Every room has espresso machines - including several closets.
·Anonymous D — 11.7 years ago, 51 seconds later, 36 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #434,903
·Syntax — 11.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #434,930
@previous (D)
hummmmmmm rare I do this but 2nite I left a pot o chile beans cooking n cooking n cooking till smoke alarm hit to tell me water had all dried up
hummmmmmm rare I do this but 2nite I left a pot o chile beans cooking n cooking n cooking till smoke alarm hit to tell me water had all dried up
Start a new topic to continue this conversation.
Or browse the latest topics.