Topic: I'm so sad
+Depressionman — 11.8 years ago #38,682
Please help I am new here
+Anonymous B — 11.8 years ago, 2 minutes later[T] [B] #429,582
I'd give you my rifle to blow your brains out, buuuuuuut, I'm going hunting in the morning.
+Anonymous C — 11.8 years ago, 33 minutes later, 35 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #429,585
+sacks of bunny ears — 11.8 years ago, 18 minutes later, 54 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #429,587
i have cat toys for you
+Iris Rosteet Miller — 11.8 years ago, 2 minutes later, 56 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #429,588
+Anonymous F — 11.8 years ago, 26 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #429,601
·sacks of bunny ears — 11.8 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #429,602
An Irish priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees. The fisherman asks the priest if he has ever been fishing before, to which the priest says 'No'.
He baits the hook for the priest and says, 'Give it a shot father'.
After a few minutes, the priest hooks a fish and struggles to get it into the boat.
The fisherman catches a glimpse of it and says 'Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!'
Priest: 'Uh, please, the lord is watching would you please mind your language?'
Fisherman: (THINKING QUICKLY) 'I'm sorry father, but that's what the fish is called - a fucker!'
Priest: 'Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't know.' After the trip the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop.
Priest: 'Look at this big fucker'
Bishop: 'Please, mind your language, this is a house of God.'
Priest: 'No, you don't understand - that's what the fish is called, and I caught it. I caught this fucker!'
Bishop: 'Hmmm. You know, I could clean this fucker and we could have it for dinner.'
So the Bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to the Mother Superior.
Bishop: 'Could you please cook this fucker for dinner tonight?'
Mother Superior: 'My Lord, what language!'
Bishop: ' No, sister, that's what the fish is called - a fucker!, Father caught it, I cleaned, and we'd like you to cook it.'
Mother Superior: 'Hmmm. Yes, I'll cook that fucker tonight.'
Well the Pope stops by for dinner with the three of them, and they all think the fish is great. He asks where they got it.
Priest: 'I caught the fucker!'
Bishop: 'And I cleaned the fucker!'
Mother Superior: 'And I cooked the fucker!'
There's absolute silence, and the Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then lets out a huge fart, takes off his hat, puts his feet on the table, lights up a cigarette, pours himself a large whisky and says, 'You know what? You cunts are alright!'
He baits the hook for the priest and says, 'Give it a shot father'.
After a few minutes, the priest hooks a fish and struggles to get it into the boat.
The fisherman catches a glimpse of it and says 'Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!'
Priest: 'Uh, please, the lord is watching would you please mind your language?'
Fisherman: (THINKING QUICKLY) 'I'm sorry father, but that's what the fish is called - a fucker!'
Priest: 'Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't know.' After the trip the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop.
Priest: 'Look at this big fucker'
Bishop: 'Please, mind your language, this is a house of God.'
Priest: 'No, you don't understand - that's what the fish is called, and I caught it. I caught this fucker!'
Bishop: 'Hmmm. You know, I could clean this fucker and we could have it for dinner.'
So the Bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to the Mother Superior.
Bishop: 'Could you please cook this fucker for dinner tonight?'
Mother Superior: 'My Lord, what language!'
Bishop: ' No, sister, that's what the fish is called - a fucker!, Father caught it, I cleaned, and we'd like you to cook it.'
Mother Superior: 'Hmmm. Yes, I'll cook that fucker tonight.'
Well the Pope stops by for dinner with the three of them, and they all think the fish is great. He asks where they got it.
Priest: 'I caught the fucker!'
Bishop: 'And I cleaned the fucker!'
Mother Superior: 'And I cooked the fucker!'
There's absolute silence, and the Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then lets out a huge fart, takes off his hat, puts his feet on the table, lights up a cigarette, pours himself a large whisky and says, 'You know what? You cunts are alright!'
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