Topic: how many times can you keep forgiving a partner for making the same mistakes?
+Anonymous A — 12.7 years ago #30,263
Well?
+Anonymous B — 12.7 years ago, 1 minute later[T] [B] #351,341
What type of mistakes tho.
+ducky !MwWb.dJjRc — 12.7 years ago, 51 seconds later, 2 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,342
just one
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.7 years ago, 30 seconds later, 2 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,343
For example, for being an alcoholic, and knowing you can't drink, yet still breaking down and doing it.
+Anonymous D — 12.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 6 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,344
@previous (A)
Alcoholism is a disease. How many times would you forgive someone with cancer for going into remission?
·ducky !MwWb.dJjRc — 12.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 8 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,345
@previous (D)
youre supposed to get help for yourself I guess
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 10 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,346
@351,344 (D)
This is irrelevant.
I also am an alcoholic. if she wants to drink herself to death, she can. She doesn't want to, or says she doesn't.
Whatever, this thread is about harm reduction for me.
+Triptych !IupsXZPnnU — 12.7 years ago, 15 minutes later, 25 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,347
I'd imagine breaking such an addiction is hard.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.7 years ago, 7 minutes later, 32 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,350
@previous (Triptych !IupsXZPnnU)
Hard, but not impossible.
I'm just asking for opinions over whether its worth continuing hoping it will stick.
·Triptych !IupsXZPnnU — 12.7 years ago, 6 minutes later, 39 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,355
@previous (A)
It sounds like she's the one who wants to quit, not you, in which case why does it matter?
+Syntax — 12.7 years ago, 15 minutes later, 55 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,370
@OP
> Whatever, this thread is about harm reduction for me.
From wot I have read so far...You and She are in the same boat sinking. So if you think the boat will sink faster with her on board? Dump her. Of course that may also make her drink even more?
I had a super friend die from drink (also the 11 ex wives were somewhat a burden) He was married to the last one when he died.
Could say more much more on this subject but ya damn well no her problem and yours are separate problems.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 57 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #351,375
@351,355 (Triptych !IupsXZPnnU)
Well, obviously it matters because its her ruining her life.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #351,379
@351,370 (Syntax )
Yeah, I know.
The thing is I know it is hard, as I am going through the same things.
I'm pretty comfortable not drinking, as drinking means I die in short order.
For her, drinking means dying at a much slower rate.
I want to be with her, so I want her to get sober. But I think maybe she has to get sober away from me.
·Triptych !IupsXZPnnU — 12.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #351,382
@351,375 (A)
In which case it is an intensely personal decision that nobody can make for you. Do you think some sort of rehab would help? Legitimately.
·Syntax — 12.7 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #351,384
@351,379 (A)
> But I think maybe she has to get sober away from me.
As they all say...She has to want to go sober. Not much you can do about getting her to do such UNLESS...By really breaking up she decides she needs you more then the bottle.
So I guess its tyme to find out.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.7 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #351,389
@351,382 (Triptych !IupsXZPnnU)
She has been to rehab once.
I think the issue is she doesn't know how to be sober. She has no coping mechanism.
She goes to counselling up the wazoo, but the counsellors seem to get more out of it than she does.
Basically, the problem is she came home about 2 weeks ago having drunk, and with alcohol with her. I can forgive her just about for drinking, but she put my health and sobriety at risk by bringing booze home. I'm not at the point where I can be around it, I certainly can't drink it. She came home again today, having drank, but not drunk.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.7 years ago, 38 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #351,390
@351,384 (Syntax )
She says she wants to be sober, but lolidunno.
·Syntax — 12.7 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #351,393
@previous (A)
And if you follow bert and his drunk rants (good buddy when sober)
Clearly wot one says n wot one does have to match or else its all
FAIL ·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.7 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #351,396
@previous (Syntax )
Good point.
I also know what I was like when I was drinking.
Lots to think about and ponder, I think.
+Anonymous G — 12.7 years ago, 46 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #351,397
My friends wife was doing the same thing. She was drinking during the day, and then driving their daughter around, shit was getting way out of hand. He got one of those home breathalyzers and they both used to blow into it. He made her blow into it when he got home from work, because she was sneaky drinking for a while after they both quit.
Alcohol free home is 100% all of the time including for guests now.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #351,399
@previous (G)
Yeah, I mean I can't force her not to drink. But I can't be around it so...
But driving kids around after drinking, wow...
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