Topic: How to accept Jesus into your heart.
+Anonymous A — 12.8 years ago #29,632

Dear God in heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.
I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin.
You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.
Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.
Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.
Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life.
Amen.
+Anonymous B — 12.8 years ago, 1 minute later[T] [B] #345,024
@OP
I acknowledge Jesus and rebuke him. Does that get me into hell?
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #345,026
@previous (B)
Yes, and as you know there is a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven. Repent before it is too late.
+The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY — 12.8 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #345,027
@OP
Upgrade to HowToBasic.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #345,028
@previous (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)
You may think this is all some big joke but you won't be joshing when the rapture comes and you're left here on Earth or when you spend an eternity in hell after the day of judgement.
+Anonymous D — 12.8 years ago, 26 minutes later, 32 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #345,047
The Lord is my Savior, my Friend, my all. I walk daily hand in hand with him in the knowledge that at my end he will be there. Each day I live on borrowed time but I have no fear of death, rather I simply await my time to be at his in heaven. Amen.
+snake person — 12.8 years ago, 9 minutes later, 41 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #345,049
·The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY — 12.8 years ago, 3 minutes later, 44 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #345,052
@345,028 (A)
Upgrade to Alantutorial.
+snake person — 12.8 years ago, 13 minutes later, 58 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #345,057
@345,049 (snake person )
joining now
+AOW — 12.8 years ago, 19 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #345,059
@OP
> Dear God in heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.
>
> I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin.
>
> You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.
>
> Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.
>
> Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.
>
> Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life.
> Amen.
Beautiful words. A little creepy though.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #345,060
@previous (AOW )
@345,052 (The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY)
@345,057 (snake person )
@345,049 (snake person )
Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.·AOW — 12.8 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,183
@previous (A)
Chill man, I ain't your enemy. See what this religion bullshit does? It promotes hatred and division. Checkmate :D
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 4 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,187
@previous (AOW )
Matthew 10:34, fggt.
·AOW — 12.8 years ago, 25 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,225
@previous (A)
Well in that case, I have a couple of cop-killers with your name on it, bitch.
I believe that trumps your sissy sword.
(Edited 42 seconds later.)
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,229
@previous (AOW )
Obviously the "sword" was metaphorical and jesus was talking about nukes, Ice-T.
·AOW — 12.8 years ago, 22 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,235
@previous (A)
Yes, obviously, because you are the modern translator of the bible and just "know" these things. Great gig if you can get it, Moishe.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 11 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,240
@previous (AOW )
Obviously I wouldn't expect someone that doesn't speak Aramaic or Hebrew to be able to really
feel the meaning or interpret the minor nuances with diction in various contexts in the bible.
·AOW — 12.8 years ago, 10 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,243
@previous (A)
Lol, you really crack me up :)
·Anonymous B — 12.8 years ago, 7 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,247
@345,225 (AOW )
> Well in that case, I have a couple of cop-killers with your name on it, bitch.
That escalated quickly
·AOW — 12.8 years ago, 3 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,252
@previous (B)
You have to, when you're being spouted bible verses. It's the only way. Have you read Matthew 10:34, fggt? Brutal.
·Anonymous B — 12.8 years ago, 4 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,255
@previous (AOW )
What do you do when Jehovah Witnesses people come to the door?
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 2 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,257
@345,247 (B)
Jesus don't play no games, fool. Crucify me was, shame on me, crucify me twice and I will fucking destroy you and everything you love.
@345,243 (AOW )
OMG THIS IS SRS BSNS
YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL IS IN JEOPARDY (not the gameshow)
+Anonymous H — 12.8 years ago, 4 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,261
@345,028 (A)
there will be no rapture......the whole 'rapture' thing was basically promulgated by some chick...back in the nineteen fifties.. it really is not in the Bible..
·AOW — 12.8 years ago, 44 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,262
@345,255 (B)
What Jehovah's witnesses, no one came to my door...
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 2 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,263
@345,261 (H)
Fuck off, heathen scum.
·AOW — 12.8 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,264
@345,257 (A)
Jesus and crew fixed my moms roof. Did a bang-up job, too.
+FuckAlms !vX8K53rFBI — 12.8 years ago, 4 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,267
@345,262 (AOW )
They're like jews, except they want your soul instead of you money.
·Anonymous H — 12.8 years ago, 57 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,270
@345,263 (A)
look into it....it is the truth...and the truth shall set you free from the liars..
·Anonymous B — 12.8 years ago, 21 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,271
@345,257 (A)
Now just calm down man. Don't get all Mr T on me. If Jesus wasn't able to withstand being crucified do you think he could survive a couple of cop killers? Like if he came back and was all "Hey guise I'm back and some bible shit is about to go down." But before it happened The History Channel asked him to be in a documentary about the Kennedy assassination by acting in a recreation where the assassination happened but Jesus took Kennedy's place and the guy playing Oswald used two cop killers and a blank instead of three blanks? Do you think Jesus could take it?
·AOW — 12.8 years ago, 38 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,273
@345,267 (FuckAlms !vX8K53rFBI)
Practically frothing at the mouth to get it, too.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 2 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,276
@345,262 (AOW )
Sometimes they recognize a lost cause when they see one.
@345,270 (H)
Next you'll tell me that the bible was written by man and that the only reason that us God fearing folk revere Christ instead of Mithra is because Emperor Constantine was a momma's boy. I'm sick of your liberal agenda revisionist bullshit.
·Anonymous H — 12.8 years ago, 58 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,278
@345,271 (B)(Edited 52 seconds later.)
+Morbid !vbsvhaneDY — 12.8 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,279
my heart is securely enclosed. not even a messiah could access it
·Anonymous B — 12.8 years ago, 47 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,280
@345,278 (H)
Do you realize how goddamn confusing that is the way you posted it? Did you swallow a thermometer as a child?
·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,283
@345,271 (B)
[REDACTED BECAUSE OF THE THREAT OF ROGUE TIME TRAVELERS] ·Anonymous H — 12.8 years ago, 45 seconds later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,285
@345,280 (B)
God's last name is not Damn......thanks..
·Anonymous B — 12.8 years ago, 11 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,292
@345,283 (A)
Lol. Not a time traveler. I'm just on drugs.
@previous (H)
Why does god even have a name? Why would something that powerful even care if we knew about him? You just lighten up and do something fun.
+Anonymous K — 12.8 years ago, 25 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,296
@OP
I refuse to accept Jesus in my asshole.
Just because you like Jesus there is no reason for anyone else to enjoy
that ·Anonymous A (OP) — 12.8 years ago, 6 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,300
@345,292 (B)
I thought drugs were the key to time travel? :\
@previous (K)
Idk whether you flunked anatomy or if you have some sort of acute dyslexia that allows for the word substitution of heart->asshole to take place.
·Anonymous K — 12.8 years ago, 13 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,301
@previous (A)
Your Jesus is a total asshole.
Accept Allah as your savior and if you're worth it, you get 72 virgins.
·Anonymous B — 12.8 years ago, 8 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,302
·Anonymous H — 12.8 years ago, 2 hours later, 9 hours after the original post[T] [B] #345,319
@345,301 (K)
seventy two male virgins....Morbid might like that a lot..
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