
The Chanese health department has reason to believe you have unsafe conditions for the preparation of breads. We suspect unclean creatures have been living in the shadows. One user complained of a pubic hair caught in their teeth. DNA analysis revealed the presence of African gene material. If you do not pay a sum of $100,000 per day in the form of bitcoins, we will be inclined to report you to a higher authority. Should you fail to comply, may His Infernal Majesty have mercy on your soul.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Ask for less money and it could work. Don't know if you ever heard of the strip search prank caller:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strip_search_prank_call_scam