Topic: I had a dream about suicide last night you know. It didn't feel like a nightmare.
+Gavin !!KyvSN1WTu — 13.5 years ago #19,900
I was back at school and changing in Physical Education (UK version of gym)I got back into the room and my bag of stuff had gone which meant I'd lost something of my brothers.
But I'd decided to kill myself so I didn't care.
I just walked home without it, free and joyful and then I walked into my house.
My mother had moved the furniture and things to stupid places.
This really annoys me normally because she will move things like the microwave to positions where she can't use them.
Illogical moving of shit gets to me; but in the dream I just said "Oh ok cool!"
(She even changed her computer to the old one from the shed and I calmly said "Your computer is 10x faster, you don't want this one")
Then I walked upstairs. Stabbed myself in the throat. And I ended up bleeding out on the floor blissfully and quietly.
I guess I was fetishising the pre-suicide freedom in a dream.
This worries me.
Also the dream seemed way too coherent and planned for a normal dream.
I have the feeling I was visited by a "ghost of Christmas past" but for suicides and he showed me the past if I'd done it.
But he must have got it wrong and showed me the good parts instead of the bad.
+first — 13.5 years ago, 11 minutes later[T] [B] #243,100
FIRST!!
+The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY — 13.5 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #243,113
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