Topic: My depression is back.
+pls !RjV8Sl/BlA — 13.5 years ago #19,884
It comes and it goes. There is no clear path from my present to my future.
+Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 6 minutes later[T] [B] #242,980
Are you clinical?
·pls !RjV8Sl/BlA (OP) — 13.5 years ago, 44 seconds later, 7 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #242,981
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 8 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #242,982
@previous (pls !RjV8Sl/BlA)
It means grow up and get over it. I stopped taking anti-depressants years ago and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
It means grow up and get over it. I stopped taking anti-depressants years ago and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
·pls !RjV8Sl/BlA (OP) — 13.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 10 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #242,983
+The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 11 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #242,984
@242,982 (B)Clearly it wasn't, otherwise you wouldn't be shitting this board up wth your pathetic whining. Go and chug down a gallon of bleach.
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 14 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #242,988
·The Doctor !7MHPahvoGY — 13.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 16 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #242,993
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 20 seconds later, 17 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #242,994
+Anonymous D — 13.5 years ago, 21 seconds later, 17 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #242,995
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 27 seconds later, 17 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #242,997
+Anti — 13.5 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #243,065
@OP
I know how depressing living a desultory existience can be. Compounded with avolition it's not much of a life at all. I can't offer you a lot of comfort. As the good book says:
46. Dost thou fail? Art thou sorry? Is fear in thine heart?
47. Where I am these are not.
48. Pity not the fallen! I never knew them. I am not for them. I console not: I hate the consoled & the consoler.
49. I am unique & conqueror. I am not of the slaves that perish. Be they damned & dead! Amen.
Now I don't expect that to mean fuckall to you. It means a lot to me though. Basically the way I see it and I don't care if you're a thelemite/existentialist/nihilist/anti-isms/wtfe.
You are thrust into this existence.
Then after a short while you are given something both liberating and terrifying. Free will. You get to make your own meaning. Find you own purpose. Choose your own destiny.
My lot isnt the same as yours and some people get dealt a better hand. It's just chance... And chance can be a harsh mistress.
Some people say to look inward at your own nature to discover what you want to do. Others tell you we're a blank slate and to model your life off of great men and women of the past. I think it's really a bit of both.
We mimic our parents to a degree and unfortunately a lot of us had shitty parents or none at all.
Still I do not believe willpower is a finite resource. You just have to pick a direction. Start making goals. Start small if you have to. Pick out a handful of career choices and put them in a fucking hat and draw one or roll a dice for all I care.
You'll be happier doing than not doing.
There's a time for not doing and it's a beautiful thing to appreciate stillness on occasion. Sometimes you can't just go with the flow and have to break out of a bad loop. Sometimes we sit still too long and grow stagnant. Or worse, complacent.
Unfortunately you are in the state where you must tend your garden.
I wish I could magickally imbue in you a sense of purpose, drive, and a lust for life.
But that's something you have to sort out for yourself.
I know building up your own identity and becoming an adult is shitty and a lot of us don't get so much as a manual or even some loose guidelines.
Every man struggles.
Your existience is a war.
You don't recognize your own strength, power, beauty, and valor.
Soldier up and get back to work.
My best advice is to go take a day and just go hike in a nearby park. Just clear your head. Forget about your past. Fuck, forget about your future for a minute because it's driving you insane.
Then when you're done, shower, get out a pad a paper, and just write down what you could do with your life. Be ambitious but realize you have to make pathways to get to some of those loftier stations.
I hope some of my inane rambling helps.
<3,
Anti
I know how depressing living a desultory existience can be. Compounded with avolition it's not much of a life at all. I can't offer you a lot of comfort. As the good book says:
46. Dost thou fail? Art thou sorry? Is fear in thine heart?
47. Where I am these are not.
48. Pity not the fallen! I never knew them. I am not for them. I console not: I hate the consoled & the consoler.
49. I am unique & conqueror. I am not of the slaves that perish. Be they damned & dead! Amen.
Now I don't expect that to mean fuckall to you. It means a lot to me though. Basically the way I see it and I don't care if you're a thelemite/existentialist/nihilist/anti-isms/wtfe.
You are thrust into this existence.
Then after a short while you are given something both liberating and terrifying. Free will. You get to make your own meaning. Find you own purpose. Choose your own destiny.
My lot isnt the same as yours and some people get dealt a better hand. It's just chance... And chance can be a harsh mistress.
Some people say to look inward at your own nature to discover what you want to do. Others tell you we're a blank slate and to model your life off of great men and women of the past. I think it's really a bit of both.
We mimic our parents to a degree and unfortunately a lot of us had shitty parents or none at all.
Still I do not believe willpower is a finite resource. You just have to pick a direction. Start making goals. Start small if you have to. Pick out a handful of career choices and put them in a fucking hat and draw one or roll a dice for all I care.
You'll be happier doing than not doing.
There's a time for not doing and it's a beautiful thing to appreciate stillness on occasion. Sometimes you can't just go with the flow and have to break out of a bad loop. Sometimes we sit still too long and grow stagnant. Or worse, complacent.
Unfortunately you are in the state where you must tend your garden.
I wish I could magickally imbue in you a sense of purpose, drive, and a lust for life.
But that's something you have to sort out for yourself.
I know building up your own identity and becoming an adult is shitty and a lot of us don't get so much as a manual or even some loose guidelines.
Every man struggles.
Your existience is a war.
You don't recognize your own strength, power, beauty, and valor.
Soldier up and get back to work.
My best advice is to go take a day and just go hike in a nearby park. Just clear your head. Forget about your past. Fuck, forget about your future for a minute because it's driving you insane.
Then when you're done, shower, get out a pad a paper, and just write down what you could do with your life. Be ambitious but realize you have to make pathways to get to some of those loftier stations.
I hope some of my inane rambling helps.
<3,
Anti
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