Topic: Postmortem
+Anonymous A — 13.5 years ago #18,984
How does it feel to know that another man's penis was inside Cupcake, and that his penis felt her vagina muscles contract as she lovingly moaned out in orgasm?
+Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 32 seconds later[T] [B] #232,032
Go away, Miller.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 13.5 years ago, 40 seconds later, 1 minute after the original post[T] [B] #232,033
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,035
+Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq — 13.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 4 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,039
As far as I know she hasn't slept with anyone else. If she had it would make me quite sad because I'm not over her in the slightest. However, if she did sleep with someone else it would confirm that she is over me, and that would make me miserable, but I guess I'd at least lose hope.
·Anonymous A (OP) — 13.5 years ago, 46 seconds later, 5 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,040
·Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq — 13.5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 9 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,042
@previous (A)
Nothing hurts more. It's weird, she's the only person to ever make me feel anything. I love her, I can't say that about anyone else. She's the only one who's absence has ever made me sad.
Nothing hurts more. It's weird, she's the only person to ever make me feel anything. I love her, I can't say that about anyone else. She's the only one who's absence has ever made me sad.
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 12 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,043
·Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq — 13.5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 15 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,044
P. S. I know you're messing with me, but I know she'll eventually find someone else, and that does hurt me. I want to marry her, is that weird to say? I want to spend my life with her, it doesn't even matter to me how she treats me, or how she feels about me, I love her. I love her so much, oh God I'm so sad.
·Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq — 13.5 years ago, 47 seconds later, 15 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,046
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 17 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,048
·Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 19 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,049
+Anonymous D — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 20 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,050
@232,039 (Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq)
> As far as I know she hasn't slept with anyone else. If she had it would make me quite sad because I'm not over her in the slightest. However, if she did sleep with someone else it would confirm that she is over me, and that would make me miserable, but I guess I'd at least lose hope.
Can you tell us exactly how many times you and cup cake have broken up and then made up.
> As far as I know she hasn't slept with anyone else. If she had it would make me quite sad because I'm not over her in the slightest. However, if she did sleep with someone else it would confirm that she is over me, and that would make me miserable, but I guess I'd at least lose hope.
Can you tell us exactly how many times you and cup cake have broken up and then made up.
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 26 seconds later, 21 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,051
@232,049 (Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq)
> implying you wouldnt just strike down family members in heated passion then target young females who vaguely resemble your ex gf
> implying you wouldnt just strike down family members in heated passion then target young females who vaguely resemble your ex gf
·Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq — 13.5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 24 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,053
@232,050 (D)
I lost track after like 8 or 9. I honestly couldn't even tell you.
@previous (B)
I'd kill my family if it would make Cupcake love me. I'd find a way to get away with it. I wouldn't kill people who resembled Cupcake though, that's just creepy.
I lost track after like 8 or 9. I honestly couldn't even tell you.
@previous (B)
I'd kill my family if it would make Cupcake love me. I'd find a way to get away with it. I wouldn't kill people who resembled Cupcake though, that's just creepy.
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 27 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,054
·Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq — 13.5 years ago, 41 seconds later, 27 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,055
·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 28 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,056
·Anonymous D — 13.5 years ago, 7 minutes later, 35 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #232,058
@232,053 (Postmortem !!QyjvQmlKq)
> I lost track after like 8 or 9. I honestly couldn't even tell you.
Have you taken Math 101?
Breakups: How Many Times Is Too Many?
[Breakups: How Many Times Is Too Many?] So I have broken up and gone on break with my SO at least 5 times in the one year we've been together. Each time, I'm serious about ending the relationship, but we end up getting back together within days. We never fight, but rather, my reason for breaking up every time is I don't plan on marrying him, so I don't want to drag on and on and make it even more painful at the end. But the every time, he comes to visit me and we're just so in love with each other that I can't help but let him hold my hand...
I know I'm being really clingy and dependent on him, but is this normal? This constant breaking up and getting back together pattern? Is breaking up supposed to be final or is it all right if you learn through each experience?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-202076/Are-rollercoaster-couple.html
Are you a rollercoaster couple?
In celebrity circles it seems to be a condition of relationships that a break-up never really means: "It's over."
In any typical week, it's a safe bet that at least one hot couple who've been through an acrimonious split will be reported to be trying again.
Recently it's been J-Lo and Ben, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee and Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke (to name but a few) who've allegedly patched up their differences and been trying to make another go of it.
So why is it that so many couples find it difficult to say "It's over" and mean it? If your relationship is punctuated by frequent splits and passionate reunions, should you really be settling down at all?
Drama
Our relationships counsellor Zelda West-Meads says that couples who go in for this high-drama approach to relationships are seldom happy within them.
"Such relationships might sound exciting and passionate, but in fact the periods leading to the break-ups are so painful that getting back together isn't enough to compensate," she says.
Zelda adds that couples who see breaking up as the solution when they hit problems "may have had experiences as children which influence their behaviour as adults. They may have seen their parents or other adults doing this, so it becomes seen as the way to behave."
Tension
Couples who break up frequently may do so because they need a break from the tension caused by all their rows. They get back together, says Zelda, "because nothing has been resolved. The break makes them think they can try again, but because they haven't tackled the problem directly the rows will resurface."
From the outside, it may look as though such couples are merely incompatible. In reality, the situation is more complicated. "One or other partner may fear being on their own. So they rush back to a familiar relationship because it feels better than the pain they're going through," says Zelda.
"Some may find it difficult to make a commitment. They want a loving relationship but when they have one, they'll get itchy feet or worry about getting trapped. So they sabotage the relationship by leaving, having an affair, or causing rows."
Excitement
Sex psychologist Dr Petra Boynton says rollercoaster couples prefer rows to negotiation and may also feel a relationship isn't worth much unless it's peppered with the 'excitement' of frequent break-ups.
"One or other of the couple may have had an upbringing where rows are common but don't really mean anything," she says. "Rows end up being used as the way to negotiate, which means they don't learn to communicate effectively.
"When couples can't ask each other for what they want, boredom sets in quickly. Breaking up and getting back together again puts the spark back and brings back that exciting, romantic 'new relationship' feeling."
Rejection
She adds that one partner may be testing the other's reliability. "These people will engineer a scene where they spectacularly reject their partner - a huge row maybe, or storming out. By doing this and getting your partner back again each time, you are testing out your fear of rejection and being reassured they will come back."
But why do some couples take each other back time after time? "This situation can continue indefinitely if the partner whose love is being tested does nothing to challenge it," says Petra. "The partner being left may be so upset by the other's behaviour that they're afraid to say anything when they come back for fear of losing them. In fact, that's extremely unlikely to happen.
"Those who really want to leave just leave - they don't keep returning. If the partner being tested never says: 'That's it, I've had enough, sort yourself out or else it's over,' this situation can be repeated time after time."
Patience
Ultimately, though, there are only so many times a couple can bounce back and forth in this way. One or other partner's patience will eventually wear thin and the relationship will end.
"Rows and bust-ups can be normal and helpful if they clear the air for a while and if they cause you to discuss what happened - but not otherwise," says Petra.
"During any relationship you're always going to fall out and need a cooling-off period to give yourself space to think about what happened. What is key is what happens afterwards. Do you discuss it and try and move on?
"If you do, then there's no need to be frightened of arguing. But if you turn every row into the chance to reject your partner, then your relationship will suffer."
How to get out of the break up/make up cycle:
If you're the one walking out:
Your relationship is not to blame - more likely, it's your self-confidence. It may be worth considering some help with this, like assertiveness training;
Recognise your trigger points: what is it that makes you leave or want to leave on a regular basis? Even if it's difficult, you'll need to talk with your partner to recognise what it is that causes the rows;
Try and accept that you do have a part to play in what's happening. This is an important step forward and makes it less likely for another break-up to happen.
If your partner is the one walking out:
Tackle the situation immediately after the next row. Say something like: "I think you probably do this because you are worried about losing me. I'm happy to help you work it out but I'm not prepared to go through this any more." Make it clear that you're not willing to continue the pattern and want it to stop NOW.
Be prepared to stand by your words. If your partner tries to push you further by using the walking out tactic again, you have to be prepared to refuse to take them back if they won't negotiate.
tl;dr
8-9 is too many
> I lost track after like 8 or 9. I honestly couldn't even tell you.
Have you taken Math 101?
Breakups: How Many Times Is Too Many?
[Breakups: How Many Times Is Too Many?] So I have broken up and gone on break with my SO at least 5 times in the one year we've been together. Each time, I'm serious about ending the relationship, but we end up getting back together within days. We never fight, but rather, my reason for breaking up every time is I don't plan on marrying him, so I don't want to drag on and on and make it even more painful at the end. But the every time, he comes to visit me and we're just so in love with each other that I can't help but let him hold my hand...
I know I'm being really clingy and dependent on him, but is this normal? This constant breaking up and getting back together pattern? Is breaking up supposed to be final or is it all right if you learn through each experience?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-202076/Are-rollercoaster-couple.html
Are you a rollercoaster couple?
In celebrity circles it seems to be a condition of relationships that a break-up never really means: "It's over."
In any typical week, it's a safe bet that at least one hot couple who've been through an acrimonious split will be reported to be trying again.
Recently it's been J-Lo and Ben, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee and Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke (to name but a few) who've allegedly patched up their differences and been trying to make another go of it.
So why is it that so many couples find it difficult to say "It's over" and mean it? If your relationship is punctuated by frequent splits and passionate reunions, should you really be settling down at all?
Drama
Our relationships counsellor Zelda West-Meads says that couples who go in for this high-drama approach to relationships are seldom happy within them.
"Such relationships might sound exciting and passionate, but in fact the periods leading to the break-ups are so painful that getting back together isn't enough to compensate," she says.
Zelda adds that couples who see breaking up as the solution when they hit problems "may have had experiences as children which influence their behaviour as adults. They may have seen their parents or other adults doing this, so it becomes seen as the way to behave."
Tension
Couples who break up frequently may do so because they need a break from the tension caused by all their rows. They get back together, says Zelda, "because nothing has been resolved. The break makes them think they can try again, but because they haven't tackled the problem directly the rows will resurface."
From the outside, it may look as though such couples are merely incompatible. In reality, the situation is more complicated. "One or other partner may fear being on their own. So they rush back to a familiar relationship because it feels better than the pain they're going through," says Zelda.
"Some may find it difficult to make a commitment. They want a loving relationship but when they have one, they'll get itchy feet or worry about getting trapped. So they sabotage the relationship by leaving, having an affair, or causing rows."
Excitement
Sex psychologist Dr Petra Boynton says rollercoaster couples prefer rows to negotiation and may also feel a relationship isn't worth much unless it's peppered with the 'excitement' of frequent break-ups.
"One or other of the couple may have had an upbringing where rows are common but don't really mean anything," she says. "Rows end up being used as the way to negotiate, which means they don't learn to communicate effectively.
"When couples can't ask each other for what they want, boredom sets in quickly. Breaking up and getting back together again puts the spark back and brings back that exciting, romantic 'new relationship' feeling."
Rejection
She adds that one partner may be testing the other's reliability. "These people will engineer a scene where they spectacularly reject their partner - a huge row maybe, or storming out. By doing this and getting your partner back again each time, you are testing out your fear of rejection and being reassured they will come back."
But why do some couples take each other back time after time? "This situation can continue indefinitely if the partner whose love is being tested does nothing to challenge it," says Petra. "The partner being left may be so upset by the other's behaviour that they're afraid to say anything when they come back for fear of losing them. In fact, that's extremely unlikely to happen.
"Those who really want to leave just leave - they don't keep returning. If the partner being tested never says: 'That's it, I've had enough, sort yourself out or else it's over,' this situation can be repeated time after time."
Patience
Ultimately, though, there are only so many times a couple can bounce back and forth in this way. One or other partner's patience will eventually wear thin and the relationship will end.
"Rows and bust-ups can be normal and helpful if they clear the air for a while and if they cause you to discuss what happened - but not otherwise," says Petra.
"During any relationship you're always going to fall out and need a cooling-off period to give yourself space to think about what happened. What is key is what happens afterwards. Do you discuss it and try and move on?
"If you do, then there's no need to be frightened of arguing. But if you turn every row into the chance to reject your partner, then your relationship will suffer."
How to get out of the break up/make up cycle:
If you're the one walking out:
Your relationship is not to blame - more likely, it's your self-confidence. It may be worth considering some help with this, like assertiveness training;
Recognise your trigger points: what is it that makes you leave or want to leave on a regular basis? Even if it's difficult, you'll need to talk with your partner to recognise what it is that causes the rows;
Try and accept that you do have a part to play in what's happening. This is an important step forward and makes it less likely for another break-up to happen.
If your partner is the one walking out:
Tackle the situation immediately after the next row. Say something like: "I think you probably do this because you are worried about losing me. I'm happy to help you work it out but I'm not prepared to go through this any more." Make it clear that you're not willing to continue the pattern and want it to stop NOW.
Be prepared to stand by your words. If your partner tries to push you further by using the walking out tactic again, you have to be prepared to refuse to take them back if they won't negotiate.
tl;dr
8-9 is too many
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