Topic: how 2 b a 'murrican wife

+Anonymous A — 13.5 years ago #18,644

1a. make husband pay for an expensive wedding and honeymoon
1b. get fat
1c. cut hair short
2. have two kids with him
3. divorce him
4. rape his ass in divorce court and make him give up half his assets
5. make him pay alimony and child support
6. fuck a nigger and have mulatto kids at the expense of the ex

(Edited 2 minutes later.)

+Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 48 seconds later[T] [B] #227,467

part of that wedding stuff is because we put a retardly high price on virginity.

+ducky !LZ0E5ojVGY — 13.5 years ago, 30 seconds later, 1 minute after the original post[T] [B] #227,469

get fat

+Anonymous D — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,474

marriage is fucking stupid anyways. dont do it.

·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 59 seconds later, 3 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,477

@previous (D)
I agree.

+Anonymous E — 13.5 years ago, 4 minutes later, 7 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,486

> how 2 b a 'murrican wife

@OP

That's bullshit. Anyone seen that one movie where this girl is kidnapped in Europe and because she was a virgin, she was sold to this sheik. And then the father Liam Neeson from Fallout 3 who doesn't abandon his kid like Fallout 3 comes in and saves her? Oh yeah, Taken.

Welllll it's like that.

Or there's this bible story where a father buys a wife for his oldest son. God doesn't like that so kills the son during buttsecks.

Anyway, you buy a wife at a market.

·Anonymous E — 13.5 years ago, 45 seconds later, 8 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,487

@227,474 (D)
> marriage is fucking stupid anyways. dont do it.

Leads me to the perfect wife's comment:

@227,469 (ducky !LZ0E5ojVGY)
> get fat

Do you plan to do this after marriage?

·ducky !LZ0E5ojVGY — 13.5 years ago, 29 seconds later, 8 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,489

@previous (E)
no

·Anonymous E — 13.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 11 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,495

@previous (ducky !LZ0E5ojVGY)

What if he has a fat fetish 'cause his black? You moved back to Africa and...

+Anonymous F — 13.5 years ago, 19 seconds later, 11 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,497

Not a huge fan of his early stand-up days, but Eddie Murphy pretty much nailed (so to speak) American women:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4YJHvzo2io

·ducky !LZ0E5ojVGY — 13.5 years ago, 18 seconds later, 12 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,498

@227,495 (E)
lol

·Anonymous E — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 13 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,500

@227,497 (F)

DONKAY!!!!!!!

Compared to this Eddie Murphy's other humor is plain.

Judges usually nullify prenups. There's child support too.

·Anonymous E — 13.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 16 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,502

@227,497 (F)

He's talking of Japanese women being docile. They only are like that until they have power over you. When they're your boss at a job, they are bullies and totally mentally unstable.

+Anonymous G — 13.5 years ago, 37 minutes later, 53 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,596

@227,467 (B)
and yet your considered a loser if you have it past 20.

huh.

·Anonymous E — 13.5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 57 minutes after the original post[T] [B] #227,607

@previous (G)

That's only men.

+Anonymous H — 13.5 years ago, 31 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #227,644

@previous (E)
but most girls won't keep it that long anyway.

+cup !J8KdupVDQY — 13.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #227,647

Marriage is horse shit.

·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 14 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #227,659

@227,596 (G)
thats only males

·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 10 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #227,660

@227,647 (cup !J8KdupVDQY)
yep

·Anonymous G — 13.5 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #227,670

@227,607 (E)
@227,659 (B)
then how does it work with hermaphrodites?

·Anonymous H — 13.5 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[T] [B] #227,673

@previous (G)
they get flock-o-seagulls haircuts.

·Anonymous B — 13.5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #227,674

@227,670 (G)
As long as they have holes, no one cares.

·Anonymous G — 13.5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[T] [B] #227,680

@227,673 (H)
u wot m8?

·Anonymous E — 13.5 years ago, 3 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[T] [B] #227,819

@227,644 (H)

> but most girls won't keep it that long anyway.

They're whores. Women can get laid whenever they want and so don't have the pressure to prove their worth by losing their virginity to some woman.

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