I fear that I'm not gonna risk it to make any new experiences due to fear of failure or to be causing more problems, and I'll end up rambling about nonsense like an old man talking about his past “back in my day” memories like a broken record. I fucking hate that shit, I don't wanna retire, ever, no matter how tired I am, I'm not letting them choose for me what next new trend I should stick with, you can work up on the old, doesn't matter if it's no longer relevant, new things are usually recycled old ideas, even the words we're using right now. Why should novelty be associated with constraints (in how you use it, or its environment) yet thought to be freer than the old?