TinyChan

Skipped the Fun Phase Entirely: Celebrate that you managed the crushing skid to divorce without the marriage, fighting and lawyers?

Sorry. Read the room, Hax.

I do know you're hurting. I also find myself wanting to stand up for old, comfy marriage, though. It's not a "fun and exciting phase," then a "comfortable, settled, routine phase," and then, "K, now go play by yourself for 50 years."

I mean, there's some of that.

But you can actually enjoy each other's company in year whatever, without having to burn all your marriage points or put on hard pants.

There's an element of luck to still wanting each other's company as the newness wears off, of course. But it helps to think in terms of companionship from the beginning, organically - and I'm talking about the before-you-even-meet-someone beginning. Meaning, you orient your life and priorities - in all kinds of relationships - on the quality of the f the companionship and whether the time you spend with someone flows and makes your life better. And whether you want more of it, mutually, without having to force the issue.

Any framing of a relationship in terms of progress, wooing, leaps, negotiating or, egad, chips within this mindset of actually enjoying each other and - mutually - not wanting that to end just seems so... discordant.

It's your life, not mine, but I can't imagine wanting this phase or a next one with someone I have to beg to have dinner with me before he goes off to game by himself.

If you, too, want someone who wants to have dinner with you, then you'll need to ask this one to move out.

Then I suggest breathing a bit as a single person. Reconnect with things you like about life, and your friends who reciprocate, and yourself. Add new ones, maybe. Reset your sense of normalcy and consider getting it realigned professionally. Especially if it wasn't 100 percent plumb to start with, it can get pretty bent by a power imbalance - as this relationship seems to have.

Letting your interest in each other run its course more naturally next time can help you avoid that; in this case, you'd have been able to read him better and accept his message of lesser or dwindling interest sooner (I'm sorry). You'd have seen the compatibility gap, too, I'm guessing.

Speaking of which: In fairness to no-dinner, solo-gamer guy, he's just right for some people. But needing to haggle for his attention says he isn't right for you.